


The Art of Us

by Unereve



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fast progressing, M/M, Mentions of Gordon, Robert centric, at least at first, painter au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:43:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unereve/pseuds/Unereve
Summary: After Robert's abrupt departure from Emmerdale he finds direction and passion in painting. Eight years later he returns to his hometown and discovers a muse in the handsome and enigmatic Aaron, who gives new meaning to his art.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is canon-divergent after Robert leaves Emmerdale in 2005, with him returning 8 years later. The timing of all the events is way off, too. Sorry.

 

 

Robert watched as the cheerful employee topped up his coffee, humming an unidentified tune. He thanked the worker and sipped his drink slowly, looking back out of the window. Robert had been pleasantly surprised with his discovery of this café. It was well-situated so his perch by the window gave him the perfect view of the street, leaving him to sketch and people watch with ease. His recent return to Hotten had been a little astonishing, as he had not expected the little market town to have changed so much.

 _Still_ , he thought, _eight years is a long time. It doesn’t take half as long to turn your whole world upside down._

 

 --- 

 

He had been 19 when he left Emmerdale, nothing to his name but half a tank of gas and the clothes on his back. Long nights sleeping in the backseat and taking odd jobs wherever he could find them had changed him, hardened him. A year and a half later he found himself in London, and a year after that he found himself selling agricultural machinery for the White family business. The irony of selling farm equipment after his miserable life on a farm had not been lost on him, but he was good at his job. And he liked being good at something. As it happens he was also good at bedding women, and when it had been discovered that he had slept with _both_ daughters of the boss, Lawrence White, he once again found himself jobless and alone.

He hadn’t minded that much. He found the Whites to be stuffy at the best of times and insufferable at the worst, so escaping before he had really invested himself had actually been a lucky break. And with this newfound freedom Robert discovered his real passion in art.

Robert had known he wasn’t half bad at drawing. He had been doodling his whole life, with his schoolwork and notes always covered in sketches. But after his unceremonious expulsion from the White business he had a lot of free time to draw, and he realized he was actually pretty good. And then, with the usual Sugden flair, he realized he was _really_ good and pursued it with single-minded devotion. He got a job at a neighborhood gallery and networked like his life depended on it.

In some ways it did. Art saved Robert from himself by allowing him to create instead of destroy, teaching him to express and communicate his feelings rather than repress them. Turning this passion into a career had made Robert his own man. It hadn’t always been easy (the life of an artist never is) but it was the path he chose for himself, and that was important to him.

His chosen medium was paint. He didn’t think he had ever felt more secure, more _himself_ than he did with a brush in his hand. It had taken time for any of his work to be seen, let alone purchased. He sold his first work at 25 to a local shop owner, and then worked doing public art commissions. He found a lucky break recently with a local business owner (and self-proclaimed patron of the arts) who had liked his work so much he had commissioned him to provide all the art for his new office. It had been a long, difficult job but the satisfaction and pride he felt had been unrivaled.

When the elation had worn off a bit Robert suddenly felt tired.

No, not tired. _Exhausted_.

He hadn’t stopped in eight years. He had been so preoccupied with his new life that he hadn’t taken a breath. _So,_ he thought, _where better to take a break than home?_

To be honest Robert wasn’t sure where home really was for him. London had always felt like a pitstop, a pause on a journey without a destination. Emmerdale was where he had grown up, but it had been years since he’d even seen the village, let alone lived there. Not to mention the bad memories the town harbored for him. But his family was there and suddenly it seemed like the most important thing in the world that he return. Infrequent calls to his little sister Victoria, and occasionally his step-mother Diane, had been the only contact he had had in years, save one short phone call from his brother Andy to tell him that their father had died. Passing years had softened the once sharp pain and replaced it with a yearning to belong somewhere, so Robert packed up his apartment and bought a train ticket.

 

Which is how he ended up people watching in Hotten. He had hopped off the train onto the busy platform on a rainy Tuesday fully intending to get a cab straight to Emmerdale, but as he stepped outside to flag down a taxi he was suddenly filled with what could only be described as panic. What if no one wanted to see him? What if everything had changed? What if it hadn’t? Intrusive thoughts reverberated around his head as he instead wandered down the streets. He was finally drawn out of his spiral by the scent of coffee, pulling him into the café he was sat in now.

He had settled into a seat by the window, desperate to clear his mind. He focused instead on the pedestrians hurrying past, entertaining himself with vague sketches of the street.  His absentminded observation of the passersbys was suddenly interrupted by what could have possibly been the most beautiful man Robert had ever seen.

The young man’s dark hair and bright eyes caught his attention, with Robert immediately putting pencil to paper in an effort to capture the likeness. He was walking with a clearly school-aged girl, who, after a moment of thought, Robert determined was probably his sister. The man was dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, looking far too good for such shabby clothes. Robert saw him pause on the sidewalk and speak to the girl for a moment before handing her a few quid. She skipped off with a smile as he turned and walked into the coffee shop behind him. _This coffee shop_ Robert observed a little belatedly. He caught the eye of the man briefly as he entered before he turned away. Robert was a little embarrassed to find himself flustered _._

 _Flustered_ is not a word generally used to describe Robert Sugden. He is a charmer through and through, irresistible to man or woman (so he likes to think). But truly, flustered was a new sensation. Even through his period of inexperience and sexual discovery, when he began to pursue men as well as women, he had always oozed confidence. These sudden nerves would not do, and so he vowed to speak to this handsome stranger, if only to prove his own prowess.

To Robert’s delight the handsome stranger ended up sitting at the table next to his, nose buried in his phone. Robert took the opportunity to introduce himself immediately.

“Hiya,” He said, leaning towards the man. The stranger glanced up at him quickly and grunted what sounded like a greeting before looking back at his screen. Robert was not perturbed. “I’m Robert,” He continued insistently. The man seemed to realize that he wasn’t going to shake him off and placed his phone on the table with a sigh.

“Aaron.” He said shortly.

Robert beamed. “What brings you to this lovely establishment?” He prodded, determined to make this Aaron say more than one word.

“Coffee.” Aaron offered bluntly.

_Damn._

“That’s funny,” Robert said, “See I came in here for the spa treatment, so I feel a little short-changed,” He was delighted to see the corner of Aaron’s mouth quirk up. He sighed dramatically, “Though I doubt I would find a first-class spa in Hotten anyway, so maybe that ones on me.”

Aaron finally turned towards him, a small smile dancing on his lips. Robert was pleased to find his eyes were a lovely shade of blue, a stark contrast to the dark fringe of lashes. “You from around here, then?”

“I grew up around here,” Robert said with a smile, “I’m visiting family.” He paused, hand curling around his mug. “What about you?”

Aaron sipped his drink before answering. “I live nearby. I’m just in town shopping with my sister.” He gestured vaguely out the window.

Robert laughed lightly, “You must be a good brother then!” Aaron just rolled his eyes.

“Not really. She was doing my head in talking about all the stuff she needs for school or summat, so…” He trailed off and shrugged.

“So, you thought you’d give her money and let her loose in the shops?” Robert asked, pretending to look disappointed. “That’s an amateur move.”

Aaron rolled his eyes again and took another sip of his drink.

 

The conversation flowed more comfortably from then on. They briefly touched on their work (“Artist,” Robert had said, “You?”. “Mechanic,” Aaron replied), but mostly they talked about their interests. They discussed movies, books, coffee flavors, and any other superfluous topic that sprung to mind. They sat talking for almost an hour before Aaron’s sister arrived, arms loaded with her new purchases.

“Let’s go!” She had insisted, darting back outside before Aaron could respond. He just shook his head good-naturedly and stood.

“I guess that’s my cue to leave,” He said to Robert, smiling softly. “It was nice meeting you.”

Robert extended his hand, feeling a thrill from his toes to his nose when Aaron shook it. “Nice meeting you as well.”

Aaron didn’t immediately walk away, a mischievous smile growing on his face. “You’re an excellent artist,” He gestured to the sketchpad in front of Robert, enjoying the bashful expression on his face as he looked down to see a sketch of Aaron on the white page. “That drawing almost looks like me.” He winked and quickly walked away as a blush bloomed over Robert’s cheeks.

 

\---

 

The afternoon had done Robert the world of good. The easy conversation had calmed him, the panic receding, and he felt almost ready to return to Emmerdale. He retrieved his bags from the train locker he had stored them in and called a cab. He took a few deep breaths before the taxi arrived, attempting to calm the storm of nerves brewing in his chest.

The ride had been short. Too short. He felt that he had no time to prepare before the Emmerdale sign flashed past and he found himself parked in front of the Woolpack Pub. He slowly got out of the car, vainly hoping that time would slow down. When the taxi pulled away and disappeared down the road Robert felt the panic settle in again, realizing that he couldn’t avoid this anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and steeled himself before swinging the pub door open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert returns home

Robert’s eyes took a moment to adjust to the darker lighting of the pub.

The dark-haired woman behind the bar paused her wipe-down of the counter to say, “Hiya! What can I get ya?” before resuming her task. Robert scanned the bar, searching for a familiar face among the punters. He recognized none of them, unsurprisingly, and approached the bar hesitantly.

“I’m actually, uh,” His voice shook a little, “I’m looking for Diane.”

The woman looked at him curiously. “Diane? Yeah, sure. I’ll, uh, I’ll go get her.” She glanced at him once more before passing through to the back. Robert placed his bags at his feet and turned his back to the bar, leaning on the counter. He heard a loud thump from the backroom and turned just in time to see his sister emerge behind the bar.

They both stood stock still, Robert out of apprehension and Victoria out of shock. Suddenly she flew into action, running around the bar and hugging Robert tightly. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” She repeated, arms still wound around Robert. He gently stroked her hair, startled at the tears prickling in his eyes.

“ _Robert_?” He heard Diane say, astounded. She stood behind the bar with the raven-haired bartender beside her. He just gave her a sheepish smile and a shrug.

 

After Diane had embraced him and Victoria had finished blubbering about how good it was to see him they moved to sit down.

“Pints?” The dark-haired woman said to Diane as they grabbed chairs at a nearby table.

“Yes, thanks pet,” She said kindly. “Oh! Robert, you remember Chas don’t you? She runs the pub with me.”

She did look familiar to him, now he thought of it. He nodded at Chas, “Hello.” She simply gave a cold nod in return.

“Robert!” Victoria burst, “When are you gonna tell us what you’re doing here?”

He didn’t answer immediately, instead grabbing his pint from Chas and taking a draught. “I thought I might come and visit for a while,” He turned to Diane, “If that’s okay with you!”

“Of course it is, pet! But, what made you come back? Is something wrong?”

“No! No, its just- well, I’ve been away so long, haven’t I? I thought it was time.”

Victoria grabbed his arm tightly, a smile spreading across her face. “Well, go one then, tell us what you’ve been up to! We’ve not heard from you since Christmas!”

Robert felt the sting of shame wash over him. It was near May now, and he had made no effort to ring or text since Christmas Eve. “Yeah, sorry,” he began, placing his hand over Victoria’s, “I didn’t mean to let it go so long,” Diane and Vic just smiled at him, urging him to continue. “I’ve, erm, just recently finished a collection for an office downtown,” They both gasped and offered Robert congratulations, each giving him a brief hug. “Yeah,” he laughed, “It’s been pretty exciting.”

“And now you’re taking a break with us,” Diane affirmed, patting Robert’s cheek with affection. “Your dad would be proud of you, you know.” Robert did not respond. Diane didn’t seem to notice and had instead turned her attention to Chas, asking after the bar.

Robert slowly drank his beer, only half-paying attention to Vic’s chatter next to him. For the first time in what felt like a very long while Robert thought about his father, Jack. He knew his father never cared for his drawings and would probably have thought him lazy for not doing hard, manual labor like himself. He probably thought just as highly of artists as he did of gay sons, Robert noted wryly. His train of thought was interrupted when he heard Vic mention Adam, the name of her new-found husband.

“- And I think you’ll really like him!” She exclaimed. “He owns his own business, too! Well, him and his mate.”

“What business?” Robert interjected when she paused for a breath.

“They own a scrapyard,” she said with a fond look of exasperation. “The way they go on about it sometimes you’d think it was some posh hotel or something,” They both chuckled and Victoria took that moment to wrap her arms around him again. “I really missed ya.” She whispered.

Robert’s seat didn’t give him much room to move but he wrapped his right arm awkwardly around his sister anyway. He dropped a kiss on her head before saying, “Me too. I’m sorry I didn’t come out for the wedding.”

She just waved her hand as if to say _It’s okay_. Another minute passed before she jolted out of her embrace like she had been scalded. “Will you be here for Andy’s wedding?” She asked excitedly. Robert stiffened a little beside her. They had informed Robert during their last call that Andy and Katie had gotten engaged once more, something that hadn’t surprised him somehow. He didn’t really think either of the betrothed would actually want him there, but he answered diplomatically.

“I’m not sure, Vic.” She had left it at that, moving on to talk about planning a dinner so Robert could finally meet Adam. Robert quickly agreed, curious to meet the young man. Their planning was interrupted by the rumble of a familiar voice as it entered the pub.

Andy did not immediately see Robert when he walked in. He was only a few feet from the table when he noticed his brother sitting beside Diane and Vic, careful eyes trained on him. “You’re back.” He said gruffly, a challenge in his tone.

Robert stood stiffly, tamping down the rise of emotions bubbling within. “Thought I would come for a visit.” The two men stared for a long moment before the pub door swung open again and Katie walked in, immediately clocking the tense exchange between her fiancé and the man at the table. After a second of bewilderment she recognized the blond hair and fierce eyes as that of Robert Sugden.

“Back, are ya?” She said disdainfully, grabbing Andy’s arm to pull him away. “What circle of hell coughed you up then?”

Robert’s face twisted. “I see Andy hasn’t given up riding the village bike, then.” He spat, glancing back at his brother. Andy’s eyes were as hard and unforgiving as steel.

Vic rose from her seat and stood in front of Robert protectively. “Listen, Robert’s back to visit so all of you’s-“ She gestured around, stopping to point at Robert directly, “need to get along.”

Katie huffed and tugged on Andy’s arm, breaking the eye contact between the two men as she carted her fiancé towards the bar. Diane called for Robert to sit back down, her tone frustrated and disappointed. For a moment she sounded just like his father. He couldn’t bear to look at her, years of bitterness choking him and pressing behind his eyes. He mumbled out a hurried excuse and ran outside, gulping in the clean, Yorkshire air.

He hadn’t been outside a minute when he heard the bang of an open door and barely had time to turn before he found himself flat on his back, staring up at Andy. His jaw was throbbing and he felt the salty taste of blood on his lips. He scrambled to stand and launched himself at his brother, knocking them both to the ground. He could hear the cries of Vic, Diane, and Katie but neither of them stopped their assault. Their fists flew wildly between them, years of resentment and anger fueling this fight. Tears began blinding Robert as he swung without aim, allowing Andy to get the upper hand. Soon he was underneath his brother, staring up at his thunderous face. The punches bore the brunt of ten years of emotion and Robert was helpless to stop it. He didn’t think he wanted to. All the fight seeped out of him as Andy pummeled him into the gravel; he knew that he probably deserved it, and Andy needed this release. Violence never was Robert’s emotional outlet anyway.

Then, without warning, it stopped. His right eye was sure to be swollen and his jaw felt like mush. He felt Andy step off his chest and lay down next to him on the gravel. Robert closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Andy’s labored breathing. The tears fell freely then, making a soft _plop_ as they fell on the ground.

Robert’s mouth ached but he opened it to speak anyway. “I don’t want to fight anymore, Andy. I’m tired.” His voice was heavy, the fatigue of the last decade weighing down on him.

He turned to glance at Andy and saw a defeated expression in his eyes. He knew then that it was over. The years of heartache between them wouldn’t disappear, it couldn’t, but they would move on. They laid on the ground for a while, letting the light breeze dust some of the past away. Robert envisioned his next painting as he stared into the sky, all bright reds and cold blues. It was healing. It was forgiving. And he felt free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want Robert and Andy to be brothers, okay?


	3. Chapter 3

After he and Andy finally picked themselves off the ground and returned to the pub Vic had given then a firm talking to. Diane had shaken her head disapprovingly, but even she could see that something had changed between them. Katie had long gone, telling Vic she wasn’t interested in watching two men act like animals. Andy just nodded and followed Robert to the backroom to clean themselves up. They washed up silently, neither daring to speak in case it broke this delicate truce. Indeed, neither spoke again until they had returned to the front, Vic insisting they need to talk it out.

“You’s twos are a couple of beasts.” She had tutted, pulling a couple chairs out of a corner table and shoving them into it.

Neither wanted to speak first. There was several minutes of silence before Robert finally coughed out, “So when’s the wedding?”

“In two weeks.” Andy replied stiffly.

“Do I get an invite?” Robert smirked. Andy barked out a laugh, easing the tension between them.

“Sure,” He chortled, “But Katie might bite your head off.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Robert said as he smiled lightly at Andy. “I think I’d like to be there.”

Andy nodded at Robert. “I think I’d like you there.”

They said their goodbyes then, too tired to unpack all their baggage in one day. Robert had even given Andy a tentative hug before he left. It was a little awkward, but he felt like it was an appropriate end to the day. Andy kissed Diane and Vic’s cheeks before turning once more to wave at Robert. When he had finally gone Vic had pulled Robert into the kitchen, grabbing an icepack for his swollen eye. She didn’t carry on about it like he expected, instead only saying “I can’t say I’m glad you two fought, but I am glad you seemed to have gotten it out of your system.”

True, it was a little more complicated than that, but Robert just agreed that it had probably been inevitable. Diane came in to say essentially the same thing and told Robert he needed a good night’s rest. Vic and Diane established that he would stay at Keeper’s Cottage in Vic’s spare room. He called it a night early enough that he missed meeting Adam altogether, though he assured his sister he would have dinner with them tomorrow. When he finally settled in the small room he had trouble keeping his eyes open, the magnitude of the day wearing him out physically and mentally. He fell asleep mid sketch, the half-finished landscape of the Dales becoming the backdrop of his dreams.

 

\---

 

He hadn’t needed to wait until dinner to meet Adam as it turned out. When he woke the sun had just barely risen. He dressed and softly padded downstairs, helping himself to a cup of tea in the kitchen. Victoria came down soon after, still clad in her pajamas but happy to see Robert awake.

“I didn’t think you’d be up for hours yet!” She exclaimed, reaching around him for a cup of tea herself.

“I would’ve but my head is killing me.” His head pounded painfully just then, as if to emphasize his point.

Victoria reached for the cupboard above the sink, pulling out painkillers and offering them to her brother. “I believe it. You’re in a right state!”

This was no surprise to Robert. His right eye was sensitive and his jaw ached every time he spoke. He had yet to look in the mirror but he already knew he looked a mess. He downed a few pills gratefully, ignoring the soreness as he swallowed.

A thundering on the stairs caught their attention as Adam made his first appearance of the day. “Alright, Vic?” He said cheerfully, stumbling a bit as he noticed Robert for the first time. “Jesus, look at the state of ya! That must have been a hell of a fight!” He declared blithely. He extended his hand and Robert eyed it cautiously for a moment before shaking it. “You must be Robert, then. I’m Adam,” He introduced himself in the same genial tone.

“Nice to meet you.” Robert said politely. Adam seemed like a good bloke, but he still wasn’t entirely sure about him. If Adam noticed Robert’s hesitancy he didn’t say anything. He left for work after kissing Vic and giving Robert a firm slap on the back.

“We’re going to have dinner in the pub tonight,” Vic began as she rinsed out their mugs. “Me, you, Diane, Adam, maybe even Andy,” Robert just nodded along, “Oh, and Aaron!” She tacked on as an afterthought, turning towards the stairs.

“Aaron?” Robert questioned, a pleasant memory of the handsome coffee shop stranger flashing before him.

“Adam’s mate, the business partner,” She answered, already halfway up the staircase. “He’s really great! He and Adam are practically an old married couple themselves.” She shouted down at him from her bedroom.

_God help us_. Robert thought, _Two Adams?_

\---

Vic left for work at nine, telling him to meet at the pub for tea with everyone. Robert whittled away an hour or two walking around the village, observing the little changes that had been made in the last eight years. The remaining hours he spent in the front garden, painting. He found himself painting his reunion with Andy. Instead of men they were swirling masses of color, Andy a vivid red and Robert a cobalt blue. The tornado men were sweeping through the Yorkshire countryside, darkening the peaceful Dales. The piece was hurried and simple, but Robert felt better anyway. The canvas took some of the pain, alleviated some of the suffering, if only for a little while.

By the time he finished the picture and cleaned his brushes he was ten minutes late to teatime with Vic. He rushed to change, failing to notice the paint stains on his left cheek, though he was pleased to note that the swelling in his eye had almost gone, leaving a dark blotch instead. By the time he arrived at the Woolpack the whole party had already arrived. He was pleased to see Andy actually had showed up. He was sat next to Adam and another man, whose face was turned away. Robert supposed this was Aaron. Vic gestured for Robert to come over, pointing at the seat next to her.

“You’re late!” She grumped, hugging him anyway. She pulled away and motioned at the man beside Adam. “Rob, meet Aaron.”

Robert felt that he should have seen this coming. After all, its not totally unexpected that Aaron would have been in Hotten, as it is the closest town to Emmerdale. Still, he found himself speechless as he recognized Aaron as the self-same handsome coffee shop stranger. Aaron said nothing either, clearly surprised at the black eye and split lip that was not there a day ago. He quickly curled his lips into a faint smile as he took in the dumbfounded expression on Robert’s face.

Robert cleared his throat and put on his most charming smile. “Fancy seeing you again.”

“You have paint on your cheek,” Aaron said by way of answer. Robert turned scarlet and scrubbed his cheek fruitlessly, taking a seat beside Vic instead of responding.

“What? You two know each other?” Adam inquired, poking Aaron in the side, “You never told me, mate!”

“Well, I didn’t know, did I?” Aaron replied, twisting out of Adam’s reach. “We met in Hotten yesterday,” He nodded towards Robert. “He was a proper creep, too. Drawing me.” His words were light and teasing, smiling at the man across from him as if they shared a private joke. Robert smiled twice as wide back, stomach flipping when he caught Aaron’s eye.

“He’s an artist.” Vic said authoritatively. She patted Robert’s hand fondly, as if she were declaring him Prime Minister.

“So he said,” Aaron started. “So, how’d you get the shiner? Go head to head with Banksy?”

Robert scoffed, “Over _graffiti_? Not likely.” Aaron just shook his head at his arrogance, grinning into his pint.

Andy finally spoke up, a sheepish look on his face. “Actually, I have to take credit for that one,” He motioned to the black eye. “We got in a…little argument.” He finished tactfully. Aaron raised his eyebrows but didn’t challenge it.

Just then Chas approached the table. “Aaron, can I speak to ya for a minute?” Aaron gave a long-suffering sigh but got out of his seat anyway. “Diane, could ya,” She asked, gesturing to the bar. “Just for one minute?”

“Of course, pet.” Diane agreed, immediately shuffling behind the counter.

“Chas is Aaron’s mum,” Vic supplied helpfully as Robert watched him walk away.

“Oh, right.” He focused back on Victoria. She stared at him with an expectant look on her face. “What?”

“He’s also single,” She added. Robert turned a bewildered eye on her, but she pressed on. “And gay.”

Robert rolled his eyes in exasperation. “ _And?_ ” She just shrugged and smirked like she knew something he didn’t.

Coming out as bisexual to Victoria had been nerve-wracking in principle and so simple in practice. She had totally taken it in stride, though she later confessed that she hadn’t expected it at all.

Andy, on the other hand, looked shocked. “Are you gay?” He stammered. Vic looked at Robert, eyes wide and mortified. They had both forgotten that Andy didn’t know.

“Uh, no,” Robert confessed, “I’m Bi.” His hands shook infinitesimally under the table. He was making strides with his brother, but sometimes he worried that Andy was too much like Jack. However, Andy seemed to accept it without any fuss. He looked a little confused, _but this is a small village_ Robert acknowledged; he understood that bisexual people were likely few and far between in Emmerdale.

 

A couple minutes later both Aaron and Diane rejoined the group. They ordered their food and ate, enjoying the good company. Robert was pleased to get to know Aaron a little more, to see him in his comfort zone. His smile was wider and his eyes less guarded. He looked lovely, and Robert had been embarrassed several times when Aaron caught him staring. He also understood what Vic meant about Adam and Aaron being an “old married couple”. Their dynamic was teasing and lighthearted, but they both clearly cared about the other. It was a friendship to be envied.

It served as a glaring example of the disparity between Robert and Andy. They were trying, but, after all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. They still needed time to adjust and forgive. Diane and Vic were well pleased to see them at least being cordial, and that was enough for now. Robert even found himself disappointed when they finished their meals, knowing it meant an end to the night. Soon enough Andy excused himself, then Diane, then Adam and Vic. Robert supposed that was his cue to leave as well but was surprised to hear Aaron say, “Another pint?” He hastily agreed, telling Vic he’d catch up with them later. She just winked, whispered “don’t hurry”, and pulled Adam out the door.

 

When they’d gotten their drinks Robert settled in his seat and glared at Aaron accusingly. “You said you were a mechanic yesterday.”

“Did I?” Aaron mused, “Well, I was. I’ve only been in business with Adam for a year.”

“Do you like it?”

“I mean, its not exactly glamorous work,” he laughed, “But its good work. We do pretty well, and I like working with Adam.”

“Vic says you two are sometimes more married than they are.”

Aaron grinned widely at this. “She’s probably just jealous,” Robert chuckled and took a swig of his beer. Aaron placed his glass on the table and leaned towards Robert. He unconsciously leaned in as well, drinking in the sight of the man across the table. “Anyway, tell me about your work.” Aaron inquired.

“I paint,” he said simply.

“What do you paint?” Aaron prodded.

“Whatever I want,” he could sense Aaron’s exasperation and exhaled before continuing. “I like painting landscapes.” He offered. Aaron didn’t respond, just waited for more. “I mostly work on public art commissions, so its mostly landscapes and historical monuments and the like.” He proffered.

“What about in your free time? When you’re not doing commissions?” Aaron’s chin rested on his fists, his whole attention on Robert.

Robert thought carefully before replying. “I do enjoy landscapes. You know, nature is calming and all that.”

“What about people?”

“People?”

“Do you paint people?”

“Yes,” he answered automatically, though it was only a half truth. Sometimes people are in his paintings, but he hasn’t painted a portrait in years. People are complex creatures, hard to capture on canvas, and deep-down Robert is afraid that he wouldn’t be able to do it justice. “I don’t really do portraits.” he admitted.

“That’s a shame,” Aaron deadpanned, “I’d have loved to pose for ya.” Robert smiled as Aaron broke into a laugh, light and flirtatious. He let himself admire Aaron’s features, noting the curve of his neck and the slope of his nose. Everything about Aaron was alluring to Robert, and he granted that if he did decide to paint a portrait, Aaron would be an exquisite subject.

“What ya staring at?” Aaron asked, breaking his concentration.

“I was just thinking about how attractive you are.” He answered honestly, delighting in the flush that spread across Aaron’s cheeks.

“You’re not so bad yourself, I ‘spose.” He said gruffly, avoiding Robert’s eyes.

“Can I take you on a date?” Robert asked. Aaron’s gaze swiftly found Robert’s again before he nodded, a shy smile flitting across his lips. “Does tomorrow work?” he inquired breathlessly, suddenly nervous that he appeared desperate.

“Yeah, go on then,” Aaron said, grinning breezily.

Robert beamed. “I can meet you out front at seven.” Aaron nodded instantly, pulling out his phone to exchange numbers with Robert. When they both finally called it a night Robert found himself bounding to Keeper’s with a spring in his step. He opened the cottage door to find Adam and Vic sitting on the couch, clearly waiting for him.

“How’d it go?” Vic pried the minute he shut the door behind him. Robert said nothing, his wide smile the only indication he gave of his night. Vic lightly smacked her husband’s arm, “I told ya!” She exclaimed, looking back at Robert. “Aw, look at ya, you smitten kitten.”

Even Vic’s inane comments couldn’t bring Robert down from this high, so he just rolled his eyes good naturedly, said goodnight, and climbed the stairs two at a time. When he finally got to his room he hurriedly pulled out his paints, eager to recreate the color of Aaron’s eyes before it slipped away.


	4. Chapter 4

Robert had never been the soppy, romantic type. He’d never been much of a dating type either, not recently anyway, which is why he was surprised at his positively _buoyant_ mood when he woke up the next morning. He found himself counting the hours before his date with Aaron, unable to distract himself even with painting.

Vic had picked up on the atmosphere immediately when he finally came down for breakfast, though she wisely said nothing until Adam had scampered out the door for work.

“Big day today?” She said simply, smiling over the rim of her mug.

Robert stuck his tongue out impetuously. “Get stuffed.”

Victoria kept smiling.

 

Robert’s high spirits soon morphed into impatience. The hours seemed longer than usual and the village duller. There wasn’t much to occupy his time seeing as he was too wound up to paint. He settled on flicking through the channels on the telly, though nothing peaked his interest. He found himself immeasurably grateful that Adam and Vic decided to return home for lunch. Their loud laughter and silly arguments passed the time much quicker than any baking show or reality television could. He even realized that Adam was growing on him, his infectious laughter and broad smile enough to put anyone at ease. Plus, it was obvious that he adored Vic, and really, what more could you ask for in a brother-in-law?

 

When Adam returned to work Vic sensed Robert’s agitation and offered to take another hour for break.

“Won’t they be missing you at the pub?” Robert asked.

Victoria pursed her lips thoughtfully, “Nah, Marlon can cover for me. Besides, he owes me.”

“For what?”

Vic just shrugged. “I’ll think of something.”

They took off towards Wiley’s Farm, Vic eager to show off the renovations Andy and Katie had done. Robert was a little apprehensive of showing up unannounced at Andy’s home, but Vic just rolled her eyes and said “we’re family!” as if that were reason enough. And so Robert let himself be hauled out of the cottage to the neighboring farm.

The walk was an agreeable one, the day warm and the company interesting. Vic had a wonderful ability to talk about everything and nothing and still be entertaining. Listening to his sister chatter on about Marlon getting on her nerves or planning a trip with Adam felt normal, routine. For a moment he could almost forget that he had missed her growing up entirely.

He felt the familiar twist of guilt in his stomach. Vic seemed to pick up on his somber mood, linking their arms and resting her head on his shoulder for a moment before pressing on. “Like I was saying,” she continued, “I was thinking of selling street food! Buyin’ this old truck they have at the scrapyard.”

“Aw, my little entrepreneur of a sister!” Robert grinned and kissed her hair.

“So you like the idea?”

“Yeah, sounds cracking, Vic…” He trailed off, Wiley’s Farm having come into view. The once derelict farm looked a far cry from the dump it used to be. The outside still looked a little rough but the windows were clearly new, and the door was a bright white color.

Vic peered up at her brother, grinning at his stunned face. “Let’s see if they’re in!” She said, letting go of his arm and loping to the door. Robert took in the sight once more before joining his sister. She knocked quickly, twice, and they heard a voice from inside call “Coming!”

Katie answered the door, her face contorting when she saw Robert on the step. “What are you doing here?” She asked accusingly.

Vic answered before Robert could. “I was just showing Rob all the work you guys did on the farm,” Her voice carried a warning. “Is Andy in?”

Katie sighed and shook her head. “No, he’s up working at Butler’s.”

“Too bad. Sorry, Rob.” Vic shrugged at her brother and stepped away from the door.

She was turning to go when Robert spoke, “It, uh, looks great, Katie. You guys did a really good job.”

Katie eyed him suspiciously, a slight frown on her face. “Are you winding me up?”

“What? No!” He insisted. Her expression didn’t change. “ _No._ ” he repeated forcefully, “Is it really so hard to believe that I might actually mean what I say?”

Katie looked surprised, then annoyed, then resigned. “Alright,” She conceded, “But only because I don’t want to argue anymore.”

“Fine.” Robert agreed.

“Can you tell Andy we stopped by?” Vic asked. Katie nodded and closed the door.

Robert blew out a breath and turned to face Vic, his eyebrows raised. He didn’t say anything, just shook his head a little and walked away. Though he doubted he and Katie would ever be friends, they seemed to have reached a cease-fire. On their way back to Keeper’s they ran into Andy on the road, muddy and tired from work.

“What are you doing here?” He blustered, caught off guard.

“What are _you_ doing here? Katie said you were at work!” Vic chided.

“I was!” he said defensively. “I just came home for my break.”

Robert broke in, “We just came by to see the renovations. They look great, you guys did a great job.”

Andy gave him a tentative smile and thanked him. They all stood unmoving for a minute before Vic chirped, “I’d better get on to work,” She looked at Andy, “Do you want to show Robert around?”

Robert was just about to protest when Andy interrupted with a short “Sure.” Vic took off down the road, leaving Robert and Andy awkwardly avoiding the others’ eyes. At last Andy cleared his throat and motioned towards the farmhouse. They began walking, talking very little. To Robert’s surprise when they approached the house Andy steered them around and towards the back.

The land behind Wiley’s was quite expansive for the little farm. “This is all yours?” Robert asked incredulously.

Andy studied his surroundings proudly. “Yeah. Well, almost.” He pointed out the perimeters of his land to Robert, detailing his plans for each section. Excitement and pride soaked his voice as he talked about his farm, and though this was not the life Robert wanted for himself he was a little jealous of Andy’s fervor.

Robert loved his work and knew it was his calling, but he couldn’t help but consider that if he had been a little more like Andy then his father may have approved of him. The caustic burn of resentment singed Robert’s tongue as he bit back a snide comment. He knew it wasn’t Andy’s fault, not really. And he really did want to get along with his brother now, so he stayed quiet.

Andy lapsed into silence, brow furrowed in concentration. Eventually he spoke, words quiet and carefully chosen. “Rob, I know you and dad didn’t get on…” Robert tensed, wishing he were a million miles away. “But- but how come you didn’t come to his funeral?”

Robert didn’t answer, thinking back to the moment he received the news of Jack’s death.

 

_He was running late to a job interview, scrambling around for his shoes when his phone rang. He thought about ignoring it but at the last moment decided to answer. He had been breathless at the beginning of the call, by the end he was winded._

_“Robert?” A familiar voice called down the line._

_Robert’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Andy?”_

_“Yeah,” His voice was strained, almost as if he’d been crying. “Dad died.” He said bluntly. Robert didn’t get to catch his breath before Andy was continuing. “His funeral is next week, you should come home.” Robert said nothing, his heart beating in short, painful bursts. “Rob?” The voice said, softer this time._

_“I can’t,” Robert murmured, his head still not caught up with his mouth. “I have to work.”_

_“Work?” Andy had spluttered, his calm tone long gone. “You think work is more important than our father’s funeral?”_

_“_ My _father!” Robert had shouted furiously._

_“Fine, Robert. Don’t come,” Andy’s voice was harsh and unkind. “It’s probably better for all of us anyway.”_

_“No, wait-“ But Andy had already hung up._

_Robert let the phone slip from his hand and clatter to the floor. He stood unmoving for several minutes before bending down and minutely putting on his shoes. He grabbed his keys and wallet, leaving his phone on the ground. Moments after shutting the door behind him his phone rang again, Andy’s number flashing solemnly in the empty flat._

He blinked rapidly, returning to the present. He didn’t dare look over at his brother, instead staring straight ahead as he replied.

“Honestly, I don’t think he would have wanted me there.”

“Of course he would’ve, you were his son.”

“Yeah, that’s right, the son he told to leave and never come back.” He said bitterly.

Andy bristled. “That was because-“

“I _know_ what it was for!” Robert snapped, “But he defended _you_ , even after _everything_!”

Andy looked hurt, his mouth falling open to retort but Robert cut him off.

“I’m not having a go, Andy. I’m just saying,” He sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration. “I wasn’t the son he wanted.”

“That’s not true. He would’ve wanted you there at his funeral.” Andy defended.

Robert tried to laugh, the sound coming out strangled instead. “Well then I guess it was a fitting farewell, me letting him down one last time.” There was no acid in his words, just acceptance.

Andy had nothing to say in response. They stood silently for a moment before walking back to the farmhouse, Andy patting his back once before parting at the gate. Just before he turned to go Robert spoke.

“I’m sorry.” He said, sincerity straining his voice.

Andy didn’t bother to ask what for. “It’s okay,” He said honestly. And then, “I’m sorry too.”

Robert walked back to Adam and Vic’s house slowly, leaving memories of his father scattered along the road home.

 

\---

 

By the time Robert found his way back to Keeper’s it was late afternoon. He had ambled through some fields and wandered around the village to kill time, rethinking his afternoon. He felt a little better and a little worse. He felt better that he was able to speak to Andy without fighting, and a little worse because, well, Jack just had that effect on him.

By the time he arrived at the house his nerves were back in full-force, maybe worse. Dredging up old, unpleasant memories just before a date he was _already_ nervous for was a mistake. Robert took a long, hot shower in the hopes it would ease some of his tension. Almost immediately the steam loosened his muscles and soothed his troubled head, his stress washing away with the soap suds. He dried and dressed slowly, picking his clothes with care. He chose his favorite outfit- blue button up and soft jeans- then meticulously styled his hair.

Time seemed to move sluggishly, dragging its proverbial feet. At a quarter past six Robert had had enough. Grabbing his jacket and wallet he decided to wait outside the Woolpack in hopes that time would pick up its pace if he started moving. He sat on a bench outside, the rapidly cooling air making him shiver. He stared at the ground absentmindedly as he made shapes in the dust with his feet.

Robert failed to notice Aaron approach him, only looking up when he heard him say, “Alright?” He shot out of seat, nearly tripping over his own shoes. Aaron stood there smiling, wearing his Hi-Vis with his hands in his pockets.

“I coulda sworn you said seven.”

Robert was chagrined, embarrassed that he was always _flustered_ around Aaron. “Er, yeah, I did. I just…” He waved his hand as if the answer were obvious. Aaron’s confused expression made him sigh. “I was just tired of waiting at home.”

Aaron chuckled a little. “Well, I wasn’t expecting you for another half-hour. I’m not ready yet,” They both glanced down at his casual wear. Aaron grimaced and jerked his thumb towards the door. “I’m going to get ready,” He backed away, eyes never leaving Robert’s. “I’ll meet you out here at _seven._ ” He emphasized the last word then turned around, shaking his head in amusement.

“I’ll be here,” He called to the retreating figure. After the door shut behind the young man Robert sat back down and laid his head on the table in defeat, mentally beating himself up for his stupidity and awkwardness. He felt the wind pick up, slapping him across the face as if to say _thickhead._

At seven sharp Aaron stepped out of the pub doors, mock surprise painting his features. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”

Robert didn’t bother responding as he was too taken in by the young man’s appearance. He wore dark jeans and a fitted black jumper, his hair gelled back and his eyes an astonishing blue, made brighter by the contrast of colors. He thought back to the painting he had started, knowing he could never truly do them justice.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to miss this, did I?” He made a sweeping motion, gesturing from Aaron’s head to his toes. “You look great.” He breathed.

Aaron flushed but said “You too,” automatically. Aaron moved to stand next to Robert, who longed to reach out and touch his arm. “Where are we going?” Aaron asked.

“A restaurant in Hotten,” Robert said as the front lights of a taxi approached, “It’s a burger place, if that’s okay?”

Aaron nodded and followed Robert into the backseat of the cab. “Sounds perfect.” He said, hands brushing Robert’s as he buckled himself in. A  _zing_ resonated through Robert as he glanced up at Aaron, tentatively grabbing his hand.

Neither said a word as their fingers linked, eyes following the rapidly darkening landscape as it streaked past the windows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter, their date is the next one


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to update earlier but it's finals week and I've got a million exams. I'll be able to update faster next week.

Robert felt like a teenager again.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt _giddy_ about hand-holding. He resisted the urge to jump Aaron in the backseat, instead focusing on the feeling of calloused hands in his. He felt Aaron’s eyes on him and looked up to see a soft smile on the younger man’s face. Just as he opened his mouth to speak the car lurched to a halt.

Aaron slid out of the seat and stood waiting as Robert paid the driver.

“Ready?” Robert said as he clambered out of the car. He held out his hand for Aaron to take, delighting in his instant reciprocation. He pointed down the road at a brightly lit building, “It’s just down there.”

They strolled down the street, taking their time to savor each other’s company. When they reached the restaurant Aaron’s hands dropped from Robert’s as he moved to open the door and Robert foolishly found himself disappointed at the lack of contact. He made up for it by scooting close to Aaron in the corner booth, ensuring that their knees were touching.

“Nice place.” Aaron commented.

Robert glanced around. It was a good first date restaurant he determined. It was casual, not too dingy nor too formal. “Yeah,” he agreed after a moment, “I just hope the foods good.”

A tall, bespectacled waiter appeared suddenly at the end of the table, as if summoned by Robert’s words. He had appeared so suddenly, Robert noticed, that Aaron had banged his knee on a table leg in shock and was now surreptitiously nursing it under the table. He stifled a laugh as the server began listing the specials, his lanky frame casting a shadow over the couple.

Robert barely caught his last words, too distracted by Aaron’s sad attempt at hiding his bruised knee. “We’ve also got gluten free options for those,” The waiter finished. “Would you like to start with drinks?”

“Um,” Robert began, eyeing Aaron as he pretended to study the menu. “I think I’m ready to order. You?” Aaron hastily shut the menu and nodded.

“I’ll just have the cheeseburger and chips. And a beer.”

“Same here.”

The thick frames made the waiter’s eyes twice as large as he studied the two men. “Would you like to try any of our specials?” he said seriously. “Or any appetizers?”

Aaron hid his growing smile behind his hand as Robert shook his head vainly.

“We’ve got truffle fries-“ He continued insistently.

“Seriously, mate,” Robert pressed firmly, “Just the cheeseburgers, chips, and beers. Thank you.”

The waiter furrowed his brow as took the menus from them, turning on his heel hotly to place their order.

Both men watched his retreat with bemusement and a little incredulity. Aaron broke the silence first.

“Jesus Christ,” He said impassionedly, “He moves _so fast_.” Robert bit his knuckles in an attempt the suppress his laughter as Aaron grinned. They settled down when their beers arrived, each taking a draught.

“So,” Robert started, “When did you move to Emmerdale? I don’t remember you growing up there.”

Aaron set his glass down, looking down at the liquid as he spoke rather than Robert. “Oh, yeah. I, um, I moved to Emmerdale when I was 16.”

Robert waited for Aaron to continue but he stayed silent. “And you have a sister?” He prodded.

Aaron smiled at that. “Yeah, Liv. She’s a little brat sometimes but I love her.” His harsh words were offset by his fond tone, clearly indicative of a teasing relationship. Robert briefly thought of Victoria with remorse.

“She’s not Chas’s though, right?”

Something akin to a grimace flashed across Aaron’s face. “Um, no. She and I have the same dad.”

“And where’s he?”

“Dead.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

His tone indicated that the subject was closed. Robert didn’t mind, and he turned the conversation back onto his sister.

“How old is Liv, then?”

“12,” Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed. “Thinks she knows everything.”

Robert laughed, “As pre-teens are prone to do.”

“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t think it would be this hard.”

“How come she doesn’t live with her mum?”

“Sandra? She’s useless,” there was clearly a story there, but Aaron didn’t expound on it. “Liv moved in with me last year after-“ he broke off, “Well, we went through a hard time as a family and Liv came to stay with me.”

Robert didn’t press; he knew first hand how complicated the family conversation can be. Their food arrived then, interrupting his attempt to change the conversation topic.

Aaron took the reigns instead, taking a bite of his burger before asking “What are your plans?”

“Plans?”

“How long are you staying in Emmerdale?”

Robert picked up a chip and chewed thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I’m thinking it’ll be a while though.”

“Emmerdale better than you remember?”

“The company is,” Robert winked, reveling in the pink hue spreading over Aaron’s face. “And I came back to reconnect with family. I just barely got started, can’t leave now.”

“Where were you before?”

“London, mostly.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes. It was a great place to get started as an artist, definitely.” Robert sighed as he took a bite of his burger.

“But?” Aaron pushed, picking up on his reluctance.

“But,” he relented, “It’s not home, is it?”

Aaron shot him a half-smile. “There really is nowhere quite like Emmerdale.”

“That’s a massive understatement,” Robert snorted, but his face softened slightly. “Its… not as bad as I remember. I thought it was stifling as a kid but… as an adult without a home for so long it seems comfortable.” He scrunched up his nose and grinned. “Still small, mind you, but comfortable.”

“Yeah,” Aaron agreed quietly, “I like it.”

 

They let the conversation falter there, focusing instead on their meals instead. They sat eating in companionable silence for several minutes before Robert inquired, “You live in the pub with your mum, right?”

“Right now, yeah,” Aaron scowled, “It’s a little small, though. I’m thinking of buying a place with Liv soon”

“Do you know where yet?”

“No, it’s still just an idea.”

Robert opened his mouth to ask another question but was cut off by Aaron’s rushed “Am I ever going to see any of your work?”

“My work?” Robert asked, caught off guard.

Aaron chuckled at Robert’s startled face. “Yes, Robert. Your paintings.”

Robert sipped his beer, awkwardly avoiding Aaron’s eyes. “Sure, yeah, sometime.” He demurred.

“Why not now?” Aaron questioned, turning his body to face his date.

Robert gave a sheepish smile as he noticed Aaron turning his whole attention on him. “Well, it’s a bit awkward, isn’t it?” He traced the rim of his glass and shrugged. “I mean, there’s this… vulnerability, I guess,” Robert cleared his throat unnecessarily, “Just… some other time.”

“Alright,” Aaron conceded dismissively. “You can show me on our next date.”

“Next date?” Robert smirked.

Aaron placed his hand on Robert’s arm for one second, two, before sliding it off. “Yeah,” He said, “Next date.”

Robert smile was wide, all his white teeth on display. “I suppose I wouldn’t be opposed to a repeat performance.”

 

Their waiter returned to distribute the bill, his eyes comically big as he surveyed the men. “Did you enjoy your meal?”

“Yep!” Robert proclaimed, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. He slapped Aaron’s hand away when he tried to reach for the ticket, instead handing his own credit card over to the server.

“I can pay for my half!” Aaron insisted as the waiter left.

Robert rolled his eyes indulgently. “I know you _can,_ but I asked you on the date, therefore I pay.” Robert declared, effectively closing the matter. He still delighted in Aaron’s half-pout at being denied, perhaps staring a touch too long at Aaron’s lips as he pulled the younger man out of his sulk to furrow his brow quizzically.

“What’s the matter? Do I have something on my mouth?”

“Oh, um, no,” Robert tore his eyes away and self-consciously pushed his dishes towards the center of the table. “I was only-“ He was saved having to answer by the waiter returning with his card and receipt. Aaron stretched and stood as Robert pocketed his card.

“Guess we better get going.” He said reluctantly.

 Robert flashed him a cocky smile, his flustered moment erased from memory. “Ready for this date to be over so soon?”

“What?” Aaron started. “No, I was just-“

“Relax, Aaron. I was joking,” Robert said easily, smoothly slipping out of the booth. “Why don’t we get another drink? I saw a pub just down the road.”

Aaron readily agreed and they set off for the pub, studiously avoiding eye contact with their server as they exited the restaurant. They stopped just outside the doors as they tried to find their bearings.

Robert tentatively grabbed Aaron’s hand as they began walking. Aaron said nothing, but gently linked their fingers and stepped closer. Robert felt a thrill at the closeness of Aaron, the casual way they swung their arms between them. He felt he had known him forever though he didn’t really know Aaron at all.

 _That must be the draw_ Robert thought, observing Aaron’s profile in the dim light. _I’ve always loved a mystery._

Aaron kept his cards close to his chest, anyone could see that, but he wasn’t necessarily closed off either. Robert thought about the easy way Aaron smiled at him and the kind eyes that shone from underneath his dark brows. He was caring and smart and an absolute enigma, the paradox man with secrets in his smile and his heart on his sleeve.

Robert was loathe to let go of Aaron’s hand when they arrived at the bar, something Aaron sensed when he pulled to detangle his fingers from Robert’s. He shook his head and beamed at Robert as he pushed the door open.

Robert just about lost his breath when the colored lights of the bar slid over Aaron’s smiling face. He looked spectacular, as if he didn’t belong to time. He was art from every era, every master. He was a Caravaggio and a Matisse, a Degas and Vermeer. He looked a dream.

“Robert!” Aaron interrupted, “Stop gawping and come inside,” He tugged lightly on Robert’s sleeve, hauling him towards the bar. Robert let himself be towed by Aaron, slowly shaking himself out of his stupor. “Grab us a table why don’t you,” Aaron gestured towards the seats. “I’ll get the drinks.” Robert grabbed a chair at a table near the counter and watched Aaron order the pints. He carefully made his way back to the table, drinks held over his head to avoid the elbows of the punters.

He placed a pint in front of Robert and took a swig of his own. “So,” He started, “What was that about?”

Robert gazed at Aaron lightly, letting his eyes linger on his lips and jawline. “What was what about?”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Aaron scoffed, “You were looking at me like you’ve never seen me before.”

“Maybe I haven’t,” Robert flirted, leaning forward on his elbows. “For a minute there you looked like something off the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.”

“Michelangelo?” Aaron laughed, “Where do you get off saying that?” He rested his chin on his hands, elbows on the table and eyes trained on Robert.

“Because you’re beautiful. And I’m an authority you know,” Robert winked, tapping under his eye with a grin. “Painter’s eye.”

“Come off it,” Aaron smiled, ducking his head sheepishly. “You’re gonna give me a complex.”

Robert raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, fine. I’ll stop,” He rested his right hand on Aaron’s and grabbed his drink with his left. “I mean it though.”

Aaron just rolled his eyes at Robert’s theatrics.

 

They didn’t leave the pub until close to midnight, and on just the right side of tipsy. Over the course of the night they had gravitated closer to each other, hands touching, then knees, then arms, pressed up against each other in the dim bar. They had a pint or two more then played a game of pool that they had somehow both lost. A text from Chas had alerted Aaron to the time, causing them to call it a night as Robert rang a taxi. They stumbled out of the pub, propping each other up and laughing at something neither could remember. By the time the cab arrived Robert had wound his arm around Aaron, letting the younger man rest his head on his shoulder.

“You smell good.” Robert slurred, propelling them both towards the car.

“Thanks.” Aaron mumbled into Robert’s shoulder. At least, it had sounded like a thanks to Robert, but was probably more of a garbled sigh.

Aaron leaned back on Robert’s shoulder when they had situated themselves in the backseat, a little drowsy but content. The ride passed in a blur as they were a little too drunk to focus.

When they pulled up in front of the Woolpack the cool breeze whistling through the village sobered them a bit. They watched the cab pull away and disappear into the darkness before walking to the door.

Robert leaned against the entrance, preventing Aaron from grabbing the handle. He gripped Aaron’s jumper and drew him close. “We should do this again.”

“Yeah, we should.” Aaron agreed, resting one hand on the frame and the other on Robert’s hip.

“Tomorrow?” Robert asked earnestly.

“Isn’t that a little soon?”

“I’m not sure I can wait.”

“Cheeky.” Aaron said, moving his hands to grip Robert’s shirt to pull him closer.

Robert thought better of giving an impudent answer, instead focusing on the proximity of Aaron’s lips and the hot breath hitting his cheek.

Aaron paused for a beat before leaning in, pressing his lips to Robert’s. They slotted together like puzzle pieces, all hesitancy and indecision gone. Robert’s hands caressed Aaron’s jaw while Aaron wound his arms around Robert’s waist. The kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a minute or two but it felt like an eternity to Robert. An eternity he never wanted to end.

Though end it did.

Eventually they pulled back, foreheads touching as they caught their breath.

“So, tomorrow?” Robert murmured.

“Can’t,” Aaron laughed, “I’ve got work on, and then I’m having dinner with Liv.”

Robert leaned in and kissed him again, gently. “Shame,” He kissed him again, for good measure. “Night Aaron.”

“Goodnight Robert.”

Robert reluctantly stepped away from the door, watching Aaron shoot him one last smile before closing the door behind him. He strode back to Keeper’s unhurriedly, reveling in the light wind that ruffled his hair.

He tiptoed into the cottage, grabbing a glass of water before heading to bed. He changed and brushed his teeth quickly, climbing under the covers eagerly. He played a highlight reel from the night in his mind, replaying the kiss several times before his phone chimed, breaking his concentration.

It was a text from Aaron that read: _I think I’m more of a David type_ _;)_ with an attached picture of Michelangelo’s statue. Robert smiled softly. His phone chimed once more. _Goodnight Robert_ it read.

 _Goodnight Aaron_ he responded. He turned his phone off and laid back on his pillow. He sank into his dreams comfortably, images of Aaron lulling him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with how it turned out but, you know, what can you do?


	6. Chapter 6

Robert woke up at half past ten, morning light seeping through his curtains and draping across his bed. He opened his eyes slowly, allowing his muddled brain to find its bearings. He sat up slowly and groaned at the headache forming behind his eyes. He sipped the stale water he had left on his night table, quickly downing the painkillers he had set aside last night. He donned a plain blue button up and some jeans before padding across the landing to the bathroom. He noticed both Vic and Adam had already left for the day and he was grateful to skip the third degree, though he knew Vic would demand details when she returned.

The harsh light of the bathroom blinded Robert for a moment. He finally pried his eyes open and warily inspected his face in the mirror. He was pleased at the progress of his bruises, the black eye fading to a dark yellow and his cut lip almost entirely healed over. He brushed his fingers over his lips once more, remembering the feeling of Aaron’s mouth on his.

_Aaron._

The effect was instantaneous. His sluggish, hungover state was replaced by an energy, a humming in his veins. The world seemed to spin a little faster. Robert suddenly felt a little unsure on his feet, the frenzy had taken over his body and forced him to move faster, as if saying _hurry hurry hurry._

He pulled his paints and canvas from his bag, rushing down the steps and out the door. It was a beautiful day in Yorkshire, the May sunshine warm and pleasant. Robert haphazardly set up his easel and stretched and clipped his canvas over a board. The moment he picked up his paintbrush his nerves settled, a quiet thrumming coursing from his fingers to his toes.

Robert squinted at the canvas for a long moment before dipping his brush in paint. He still didn’t know what he wanted to paint, but he hoped inspiration would strike.

And strike it did. After a moment of near aimless swipes he began thinking of the last May he spent in Emmerdale. Then he thought of all the of all the other Mays and Julys and Decembers, and suddenly he was transported to the village of his youth. Almost without thinking he traced the street that runs through the town, outlining the homes that bordered the road. With each stroke the memories grew stronger, moments tied to each location he painted. The world around him faded away as he fell into the picture.

Vic came home at six with arms full of grocery bags. She was surprised to see Robert sat in the front garden, the setting sun casting a golden glow over his artwork.

“Oh, that’s lovely, that is!” She cooed over his shoulder. Robert nearly jumped out of his skin at her voice, he had been so consumed with the painting.

“Jesus, Vic,” He said shortly, clutching his chest in an attempt to calm himself. “What are you doing?”

“I was just admiring your work!” She defended, turning to go inside. Robert blinked slowly, checking his watch in surprise. He quickly picked up his equipment and set in just inside the door. Vic was busy putting food away in the kitchen. “Have you been out there all day?” She asked as he closed the door behind him.

Robert picked up his easel and moved it to the sitting room, grabbing his paints on his way to the kitchen. “Um, yeah.” He turned on the tap and stuck his brushes under it, watching the water turn different colors and then swirl down the drain.

“I saw you were painting Emmerdale.”

“I was.”

“Do you like it here, then?”

“Yeah, I do.” Neither said anything for a moment. Robert dried and set his brushes aside, sighing loudly as he leaned against the counter. “Vic,” He began, waiting for her attention to turn back on him. “I think I want to stay for a while.”

Victoria spun around, a smile stretching across her face. “Really? That’s great!”

“Yeah?”

“Of course! You can stay here as long as you’d like.”

“I have a lot of my things in storage in London still. I’d like to bring them here.”

Vic ducked under Robert’s arms and hugged him tightly. “I think that’s a great idea.”

When she pulled back her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Why are you crying?”

“It just…” Vic trailed off, wiping her face with the back of her hand as the tears began to fall. “It feels like I’m finally getting my family back,” Robert pulled her in again, resting his chin in her hair.

The kettle whistled shrilly, interrupting the moment. “Where’s Adam?” Robert asked as Vic put the last of the groceries away.

“He’s at the pub, I was going to meet him for tea after I did the shopping,” She put the bags away and faced Robert, hands on her hips. “You can come, of course. Aaron might even be there,” Vic winked conspiratorially as Robert groaned.

“C’mon, Vic, don’t start.”

“What? You really didn’t think I’d ask you about last night?”

“No, I knew,” Robert conceded, “But I thought I’d push it off.”

“Why? Did it not go well?”

“What?” Robert pushed away from the counter. “No, it went perfect!”

“So then tell me what happened!”

Robert gave a long-suffering sigh but answered anyway. “We went to Hotten and had dinner, then we got a few drinks.”

Vic just raised her eyebrows, gesturing with her hand for him to continue. “ _And?”_

“And?”

“What else? Are you going to go out again?”

“Yeah,” Robert smiled widely, “Yeah, I think we will.” Vic squealed and hugged Robert again. “Alright, alright. It’s not like we’re getting married here.” He cautioned, but his smile didn’t wane.

“I’m just glad for the two of yous.” Vic said as she clasped her hands together. “Aaron is such a nice bloke, you know.”

“I know,” Robert assented, clearing his throat. “Shouldn’t we be heading to the pub?”

“Oh, right!” Vic and Robert grabbed their jackets and headed out the door. The _very_ short walk from the cottage to the pub was filled with demands for details of the date. “Did ya kiss?” Vic asked.

“Um, yeah.” Robert answered shortly.

“Was it a good kiss?”

“ _Vic!_ ”

“What? I wasn’t-“ Her protestations were cut off by the noise of the pub as they entered. Vic wisely said nothing when she saw Adam sitting with Aaron, but she winked when Robert turned to face her. He just gave a warning glare and took the seat next to Aaron.

“Hey,” He murmured to Aaron, who smiled at his appearance. “Thought you were having dinner with Liv?”

“I am, she’s just taking forever,” Aaron responded as he eyed Robert appreciatively. “How are ya?”

Robert grinned like a fool. “Amazing. Better than I’ve been in ages.” Aaron just laughed, turning his attention back to Adam, who had jabbed him in the side.

“Tell Vic about that contact we had today,” He insisted, “Total nob, right?”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Absolute prick. Just yelled at us over the phone, didn’t even know what he was talking about.” The two men laughed at their shared experience, Vic probing for more details.

Before Aaron could answer Liv popped out from behind the bar, her messy blonde hair in a ponytail and a baggy sweater draped over her shoulders. “Oi! Are we eating or what?”

“It wasn’t me who took forever, was it?” Aaron snipped. Liv stuck out her tongue in response.

“Who are you?” She demanded, looking at Robert scornfully.

“Oh, um,” Robert looked at Aaron quizzically who was shaking his head in annoyance. “I’m Robert, Vic’s brother.”

“Could you be any ruder, Liv?” Aaron griped, standing up. “Sorry, Rob. Bye Vic, Adam.” They waved goodbye as the two siblings sat up at the bar.

Robert looked at Vic and Adam quizzically, who just shrugged. “She’s a nice kid, deep down.” Vic said kindly.

Diane came over to say hello and take their orders, waving away their offers for her to join them. “Far too busy, pet.” She insisted, though she made them promise to come over for Sunday dinner.

Robert was surprised at how swiftly time passed with Adam and Victoria. They were a fun couple, all bright smiles and quick remarks. After they finished their meal Adam sent Robert up to the bar for pints, slapping him on the back and saying, “Don’t flirt too much, we want our drinks cold!” with a hearty laugh. Robert flipped him the bird and flushed but stood anyway.

Robert stood next to Aaron at the bar, grabbing Chas’s attention. “Hiya,” He began, “Three pints please,” Chas rolled her eyes and scoffed, but filled up the glasses. Robert raised his eyebrows and looked at Aaron. “Touchy.”

Aaron and Liv both smirked behind their hands and exchanged glances. Chas slammed the drinks on the counter in front of Robert. “I don’t like you.” She said with an unfriendly glower.

Robert’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Hang on, I don’t even know you,” He contended, “How could you possibly hate me?”

“Mum-“ Aaron interjected.

Chas cut Aaron off. “I know all about you Robert Sugden, and Diane thinks you’ve changed but I think you’re the same nutter who left all those years ago.”

Robert was speechless for a second. He felt the bitter taste of anger rise in his throat as he struggled to find the words. Just as he was about to bark out some insult about her being a slapper or some dig at the nutty Dingle family he saw Aaron out of the corner of his eye. Robert deflated, the insult dying on his tongue. He dug a few quid out of his pocket and dropped in on the counter, mumbling “keep it” under his breath and turning away.

Aaron reached out and touched Robert’s arm but he shrugged it off and walked back to his table. He set the drinks in front of Adam and Vic but they were too caught up in each other to take notice of Robert. He sullenly grabbed his glass and headed outside. He sat on the bench in front of the pub, listening to the evening sounds of the village.

“Hey, you okay?” Robert glanced over his shoulder to see Aaron walking towards him, beer bottle in hand. He sat next to him on the bench, shoulder to shoulder, facing the opposite direction. Aaron nudged Robert after receiving no answer.

“Yeah,” Robert said quietly, catching the condensation on his pint glass with his fingers. He turned his head to see Aaron glaring at him skeptically. “It’s nothing.”

Aaron sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry about my mum. It’s just, well, she’s friends with Katie, isn’t she?”

Robert tensed. “Ah.”

“Don’t tell me you’re all upset because Katie doesn’t like ya?”

“No,” Robert admitted, leaning forward on his elbows. “I just… it just reminded me why I didn’t come back is all,” His laugh was short, humorless. “You know, constantly being reminded of all the shitty things you did as a kid.”

“I get it. I really do.” Aaron’s voice was soft.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. When I first moved here I was a terror, an absolute nightmare.” He smiled bitterly.

“What happened?” Robert asked. He noted the way Aaron’s face twisted with an undistinguishable emotion.

“People didn’t give up on me,” He shrugged.  “It took a long time, but eventually I figured it out. And now, now-“he gestured around at the surroundings. “Now I really like it here. I can’t really imagine living anywhere else.”

Robert didn’t say anything, just gave him a soft smile and a nod.

They sat in silence for a moment before Aaron laughed quietly. “I’ve heard a story or two about young Robert, you know. You must have really been something.”

“Oh, God.” Robert groaned, burying his face in his hands. Aaron laughed and turned to face Robert, grabbing his hands and holding them loosely.

“Robert,” Aaron began, his tone serious without being somber. “I didn’t know you then-“

“Thank God.” Robert interjected.

Aaron pressed on. “I didn’t know you then, but I like you now,” Robert’s head turned swiftly, eyes baring into Aaron’s. “From what I hear you made a real mess of things, but- _but_ ,” he insisted, preventing Robert from interrupting again. “Its been a long time. I’m sure you’re not the same bloke. And it might take a while for everyone to see that but they will.”

“Thanks,” He said sincerely. And then, quieter, “I like you too.”

There was a breathless moment between the two of them. Neither moved, though the tension was palpable. In the end it was Robert who leaned in and kissed Aaron. It was short but sweet, and Robert pulled away with a grin.

“Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?” He asked.

Aaron smiled. “Yeah, that sounds great.” He reached up and absentmindedly brushed the fringe from Robert’s forehead. He blushed and pulled his hand away when he caught Robert’s eye. “I’m going back inside, but I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

He stood and dusted his trousers off before walking to the door, smiling at Rob just before it swung shut behind him.

Vic and Adam emerged after a minute, arms slung around each other. “There you are, Rob! We were wondering where you got off to!” Vic declared.

“We saw Aaron leave, too! I told Vic you were probably snogging and all.” Adam sniggered, clapping Robert on the back as they walked past. Vic linked her free arm in Robert’s and pulled him along, his glass clattering from his hand onto the tabletop.

“Oi!” He protested weakly, letting himself be tugged away.

When they got to the cottage Adam splayed out on the sofa while Vic went upstairs to change.

“Is that yours?” Adam asked, spying the easel set out by the chair.

“Yep.” Robert said, following Adam into the room.

“It looks good, mate,” Adam squinted at the picture. “It’s Emmerdale.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“It looks a little… different.”

 “That’s because it’s the village from when I was a kid,” Robert said as he sat on the edge of the sofa. “A few things have changed since then.” He sighed.

Adam nodded, “Right. Well, it looks really cool.”

Robert accepted the compliment, though he knew Adam was no fine art critic. He disassembled the easel but left the canvas to dry tucked in the corner of the room. He set the easel and paints next to the canvas and went upstairs to change.

When he came back down Victoria and Adam were watching a movie on the telly, so Robert grabbed some crisps and headed back to his room for the night. He whittled away a few hours emailing colleagues in London about retrieving his possessions, and his old boss at the gallery about networking opportunities nearby. It was near eleven when he set his computer aside and got ready for bed. By the time he had settled under the sheets the frantic energy that had fueled his day had withered, leaving him bone-tired. He fell asleep immediately, dreaming of the Emmerdale of his childhood. The once lonely streets were teeming with people and Aaron and Vic stood on either side of him as he walked the winding road.

\---

Robert woke up the next morning refreshed, filled with an emotion he couldn’t place. It wasn’t until he opened up the cottage door to step outside that he finally placed the feeling.

Emmerdale felt like home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished my exams! PHEW. I should be able to update more often now!


	7. Chapter 7

Aaron arrived at Keeper’s by seven for the date. He didn’t bother knocking, just walked in to find Robert standing by the sofa staring across the room.

“Alright?” Aaron asked, peering around to corner to find the source of interest.

Robert faced him and eyed him appreciatively, taking in the young man in his dark jeans and green jumper. “I am now.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and joined Robert in the front room. “Is that yours?” He pointed to the canvas propped up on the wall across from them.

“Yep.”

Aaron moved closer. “It’s Emmerdale!” He smiled back at Robert, who’s heart skipped at the sight.

“Yeah,” Robert sighed. “It seems Emmerdale _has_ changed a little bit over the years,” Aaron fixed his piercing gaze on Robert, the green jumper a striking contrast to the blue. “What?” Robert asked self-consciously.

“I’ve never seen your work before.”

“Oh, right,” Robert blushed and looked away. “Well… How do you like it?”

Aaron stared at the painting a touch too long, Robert squirming uncomfortably at the silence. “I think it’s beautiful.” Aaron said at last, his deep blue eyes sincere and warm when they turned on Robert’s. He walked back to Robert and tugged on his jacket to pull him closer. He planted a soft kiss on his lips and pulled back to see Robert smiling widely. “Ready?” He asked, reaching for his hand.

Robert instantly reciprocated, squeezing his fingers tightly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

Robert and Aaron’s second date went even better than the first.

It wasn’t really anything spectacular. They drove into Hotten for dinner and a movie, then back to the Woolpack for drinks. The difference was that this time there was no hesitancy. They were familiar, comfortable with each other. Not even Chas’s dark glares could dampen their good time.

When the night wound down Robert swallowed down his uncertainty and asked Aaron if he’d like to come back home with him.

“What about Vic and Adam?” Aaron asked hesitantly.

“Adam whisked Vic away for the night, something about a romantic weekend.” That was true, though Robert suspected that Vic had pressured Adam into it, knowing full well that Robert had a date with Aaron.

Aaron bit his lip and glanced up at Robert through his lashes. “Yeah, okay then.”

They walked back to Keeper’s slowly, their hands clasped loosely between them. When they got to the cottage Robert paused in the kitchen. “Brew?” He asked after a moment.

Aaron stared at him through half-lidded eyes, advancing towards him with purpose. He kissed Robert fiercely and pushed him towards the stairs. Robert had nearly tripped over himself in his haste to climb the steps. Aaron was hot on his heels, following him to his room and shutting the bedroom door behind him.

Their first time wasn’t perfect, but first times never are. They were treading new ground, learning each other’s bodies and taking time to find the most pleasure for the other. It may not have been _perfect,_ but it was _special._ They both knew it, could both feel it. Aaron’s hands had been sure and steady on his body, his mouth marking his skin. He was art in motion. He was the most beautiful thing Robert had ever seen, touched, felt. He longed to make Aaron his canvas. His fingertips and lips were his brushes as he painted lust and desire on Aaron’s face, then his arms, then his torso, then his legs. There was no space between them that night, skin to skin in the most primal way. Later, when they laid side by side, blissed out and exhausted, Robert had felt the stir of something within. Something intense and overwhelming, but he wasn’t afraid. He turned his head to stare at the man beside him and knew that he could love him. It was too soon to voice however, so Robert settled for lacing his fingers in Aaron’s and reveled in the gentle squeeze he received in return.

They fell asleep like that, side by side. When they woke the next morning they were pressed together, Robert’s arm slung across Aaron’s hips. Aaron woke first, though Robert wasn’t far behind.

“Morning.” Robert said blearily into Aaron’s neck.

Aaron shifted around so he faced Robert, pressing a gentle kiss to the older man’s lips in lieu of a response.

Robert leaned in to the embrace, fingers splayed across Aaron’s chest and legs tangled beneath the sheets. When they broke apart he smiled and yawned. “What a way to wake up,” He said, disentangling himself and standing, pulling on his pants and a t-shirt. “Would you like breakfast in bed?”

“If you’re offering.” Aaron replied, watching him move about with a wary smile. Robert practically jumped down the stairs in his haste to get to the kitchen. He made a simple breakfast of toast and eggs, along with two mugs of tea. The precariously balanced meal miraculously made it up the steps without spilling, though there were a few near misses.

“Now,” Robert began, handing a mug to Aaron and placing the plates on his lap. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want coffee so I just made tea, that alright?”

“Yeah, ta. This is great,” They both propped themselves up on the headboard and ate their food. “Robert?” Aaron started, swallowing his toast quickly.

“Hmm?”

“What are we?”

Robert placed his bread back on the plate, focusing on Aaron. “I think- well, I think I’d like to be your boyfriend,” He said sincerely, “If you’ll have me.” He added.

“I would,” Aaron affirmed, eyes bright and a small smile fixed on his face. “Though…” He trailed off, face falling slightly.

“Though?” Robert prodded.

Aaron studied his face with fervor then sighed. “My mum doesn’t much like ya, and Liv is mouthy and- and gobby. I don’t want, I wouldn’t-“ He cut himself off, swiping a hand down his face. “I don’t want them scaring you off or summat.”

“It would take more than the likes of Chas Dingle to scare me off.”

“Yeah,” He laughed. “But Rob, seriously, they’re part of my life and I want- I want you all to get along.”

“Then… Then I’ll try to get along with them,” Robert wrapped his arm around Aaron’s shoulders, pulling him in tightly. “Seriously, Aaron, they’re important to you and you’re important to me so I swear I’ll try. Okay?”

“Okay.” Aaron agreed as he leaned in for another kiss.

The two men stayed in bed for another hour, the only incentive to move a text from Vic warning of their pending arrival. The blissful bubble was shattered as they dressed and made their way downstairs.

“Pint later?” Robert queried, leaning against the open door. “I’ll be over for tea with Diane, so we could get a drink after.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Aaron gave one last lingering kiss to Robert before sauntering away.

 _Boyfriend._ Robert thought. It sounded good. He’d never had a boyfriend before, not a proper one anyway, but it felt… _normal._ _Right,_ even. He closed the door to the cottage with a satisfied smile, the taste of Aaron’s smile the only thing on his mind.

 

\---

 

When Vic and Adam returned they found Robert in the front yard, finishing his painting of the village. They had sensed his good mood immediately.

“Your date went well, I take it?” Vic inquired, eyebrows raised. Robert just blushed and waved her off. “So it went _very_ well, then!”

Adam’s face twisted in disgust, “Oi! That’s my mate you’re talking about.” He fake-retched and quickly walked inside.

“Oh, forget him,” Vic needled, squeezing Robert’s arm. “I promise I won’t tease ya anymore, I just want to know how it went last night.”

“Great,” Robert answered shortly. “Went even better this morning.”

“Oh,” Vic covered her ears. “I don’t want to hear that!”

“Then stop harassing me!” Robert quipped with a wide grin.

“Fine, fine. Oh, by the way we’re having tea with Diane tonight.”

“Yeah, I remember. I’m going to head in and shower soon.”

“Good, you stink.” Vic shot him one last bright smile before heading inside.

The painting was complete within the hour. Robert stood back and admired it quietly before taking it inside. He cleaned his brushes and disassembled his easel with practiced ease, placing them in their respective bags before showering. When Robert stepped out of the shower he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He noted the fading bruises on his face, then admired the new marks blooming on his neck and chest. He smirked at the memory, running his hands over the hickeys in amusement. He was almost disappointed that his shirt’s collar covered them up.

He trotted down the stairs at five O’clock, meeting Adam at the bottom. He nodded in acknowledgment then moved to get to the kitchen.

“Wait,” Adam started, arms spread out to prevent Robert from leaving. He looked almost embarrassed.

“What is it?”

“I was just wondering about you and Aaron…”

“What about us?” Robert asked sharply.

“Is it serious, then?”

Robert was a little taken aback at the line of questioning. “It’s… getting there. Why?”

Adam was halting, reluctant. “Aaron’s just had a rough go of it, and I just want to make sure-“

“I’m not going to do anything to him!”

“I didn’t say you are, I’m just letting you know that he’s a really top bloke and he’s also my best friend.”

Robert’s eyes softened. It was sweet, really, that Adam cared so much about Aaron. “I know. And I swear I’m not going to hurt him.”

“Okay,” Adam relented, “Good.” He cleared his throat and swatted Robert’s arm to lighten the tension.

“Right, boys!” Vic beamed as she thundered down the stairs, “Shall we get going?”

They all set off for the pub, meeting Andy in front of the door. “Where’s Katie?” Vic asked.

Andy shrugged, “She said she wasn’t feeling well.”

Robert secretly doubted that, though he wisely chose to say nothing. The four of them piled into the backroom where Diane stood with her partner Doug.

“Oh, wonderful! You’re all here! Dinner is almost ready so everyone take a seat.” She insisted, gesturing to the small table in front of them.

They all managed to squeeze around, though it was a tight fit. Diane dished out the meal as everybody dug in greedily.

Robert cleared his throat and sipped his drink. “How are things at Wiley’s, Andy?”

“Yeah, good,” Andy answered, “We’re trying to get some cattle and lambs for the farm, but we’re still trying to scrounge up the cash.”

“That’s okay pet, it’s only your first year on the land.” Diane assuaged.

Andy shrugged as he shoveled his food into his mouth. “We’re not too bothered, Katie wants to focus on finishing the farmhouse first anyway.”

Robert hated farm talk, something he conveniently remembered _after_ asking Andy about Wiley’s. Crop yields and shearing lambs reminded him of his younger years as a farm boy, doing chores he hated from dawn ‘til dusk. He tuned out the discussion and focused on scraping the potatoes from his plate.

“What about you, Robert?”

“Huh?” Robert looked up to see Andy staring at him.

“What have you been doing?”

“Oh, uh, this and that.” He responded vaguely.

“He’s been painting,” Vic supplied helpfully. “He just finished one of Emmerdale!”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful!” Diane gushed, “I’d love to see it.”

Before Robert could answer Vic cut in again. “He’s also been going out with Aaron.”

“ _Vic_.” Robert chastised sternly.

“Dingle?” Andy spluttered. “Really?”

Robert folded his arms in annoyance. “Yeah, so?”

Andy just clucked in bewilderment. “I just didn’t think he’d be your type, is all.”

“Who did you think _would_ be my type, then?”

“I don’t know,” He admitted. “I guess I just never thought it would be someone from Emmerdale. Someone richer, maybe. I mean, you are an artist.”

Robert rolled his eyes at Andy’s smirk and good-natured ribbing. He didn’t blame Andy for his shock, Aaron took him by surprise too.

“I do all right.” Robert insisted.

The conversation shifted away from Robert’s career and onto village gossip, something Robert enjoyed immensely. He knew he was something of a hypocrite, as he knew first hand what it was like being the subject of the rumor mill in the small town, and yet he still loved hearing the latest tidbits about the comings and goings of the townsfolk. Fortunately the gossip turnover was high, a consequence of the inexplicably large amount of drama the town experienced. He knew he would enjoy this less when he and Aaron inevitably became the subject of the grapevine rumors.

But until then he gasped along with the others at all the right moments, or laughed when it was appropriate. It all felt so casual, so routine, like maybe he had been doing this all his life.

It was near eight when Aaron walked through the backdoor, pausing by the open door when he saw the family dinner. Andy and Vic were on the sofa, sipping tea and chatting while Robert and Adam were sat at the table talking about the scrapyard. Doug had gone up to bed and Diane was cleaning dishes, waving away all attempts to help.

“Alright, Aaron?” Robert heard Andy say.

He turned towards the door and couldn’t resist the smile that overtook his face when he saw Aaron, he just that effect. Aaron immediately smiled back, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Oh, Aaron! Would you like some food? We’ve got plenty left over.” Diane offered, already ushering Aaron into the room. Adam pulled up a chair next to him and gestured for him to sit while Diane heated up a plate. Aaron accepted it gratefully and dug in.

“I heard you were going with Robert now.” Andy commented. Aaron’s chewing stopped for a moment while he looked at Robert, who shrugged and grinned at him.

“Er,” Aaron said between bites, “Yeah.”

“Lay off him, Andy,” Vic chided, standing up and placing her hands on Aaron’s shoulders. “I think you two seem sweet together.”

Robert felt as embarrassed as Aaron looked, and he quickly broke in to stave off any more awkwardness. “Can you all please stay out of our love lives.” Robert admonished.

“Not likely, mate.” Adam said, earning a half-hearted slap on the arm from Aaron. Robert was relieved to find that though Aaron looked uncomfortable, he made no move to leave.

Diane gently patted Robert’s face, “We’re just happy for you, pet.”

That effectively ended the conversation, _thank god_ Robert thought. It wasn’t long before both Adam and Vic took their leave, followed closely by Andy, who gave one last wink to Robert before disappearing.

“God, that was humiliating.” Robert groaned into his hands.

“Families, eh?” Aaron rejoined. Diane took that moment to say her goodbyes, leaving the two men alone. Aaron yawned and stretched.

“Tired?”

Aaron rubbed his neck slowly, getting the cricks out. “Long day. Contact brought in extra scrap to take apart, took longer than I thought and Adam was in the shed doing fuck all.”

Robert hummed thoughtfully. “Then maybe we should postpone the pint?”

“Yeah,” Aaron agreed, “Maybe we should.”

Robert stood, pulling Aaron up with him and walking to the stairs. He playfully pushed Aaron against the wall, burning hands on his hips and lips centimeters away from his mouth. “You can make it up to me later, yeah?” Aaron just gripped Robert’s shirt and tugged him in. Aaron’s mouth was soft on his, a wonderful contrast to the delicious scrape of his beard on his skin.

“Ugh, gross.” They heard, both turning to find the source of the sound. Liv stood on the top of the stairs, arms crossed and face scrunched up in disgust.

Aaron blushed but made no move to let go of Robert. “Do one.” He grunted. She tsked but turned to leave anyway.

“You know I’m not sure this is going to help with the whole getting her to like me thing.” Robert breathed, a ghost of a laugh in his voice.

“Right now I don’t really care.” Aaron admitted, leaning in to kiss him again.

“Right,” Robert said after a few minutes of snogging, “I think I’d better get going,” He placed one kiss on Aaron’s lips, then another on his cheek before turning the door knob. “Oh!” He exclaimed, “I almost forgot. I’m going to London next week, if you’d like to come.”

“To London? Why?”

“I’m getting the rest of my stuff, its all in storage now,” Robert sensed Aaron’s hesitation and continued hastily, “It’s just for the day. I’m just picking up my things, and then I thought we could go for dinner or something and then drive home.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said slowly, “Yeah, alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Aaron said with more enthusiasm. Robert grinned and kissed Aaron again, a sloppy, happy kiss.

“Great! Well, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“’Course.”

Robert finally left the pub, the chilly spring air forcing him to pull his leather jacket tighter. _It’s been a good day,_ Robert thought, _One of the best._


	8. Chapter 8

Robert hardly remembered a time before Aaron. He was a burst of color in Robert’s dull life, a bright yellow that enveloped Robert in warmth that he hadn’t known in years. It was hard to believe that it had only been just over a week and a half since they met, it seemed like a lifetime.

They spent almost every spare moment together, settling in a routine that felt comfortable and domestic. Robert stayed over at Aaron’s three times that week much to the chagrin of Chas. He couldn’t find it in him to care. Aaron swore up and down that he would get his mum to come around to them, a feat easier said than done. Robert was just happy that Liv had stopped gagging every time she saw them together.

The moments they weren’t together is when Robert painted. His old boss had connected him with contacts in Leeds who in turn alerted him to open art commissions. He was assembling a portfolio to send in and creating some new pieces to add in the meantime. He spent these hours contemplating his lost years, or the near decade he spent in exile. He wouldn’t begrudge them in hindsight- they did give him his art after all, but Robert had never been more grateful they were over.

Saturday morning Robert woke bright and early. He dressed quickly and grabbed a piece of toast before sprinting out the door. He had borrowed Andy’s car for the trip, the spacious backseat giving him more room to pack his things. He shot Aaron a text and started the engine, flipping around in front of the pub. Aaron emerged a minute later, coffee cup in hand and looking suitably disheveled.

“Good morning!” Robert chirped.

Aaron said nothing, blowing on his drink to cool it down.

“Long night?” Robert asked as he pressed the gas pedal.

“Something like that,” Aaron grumbled, buckling the safety belt across himself. “Did we have to leave so early?”

“It’s eight in the morning, that’s hardly _early._ ”

“Too early for a Saturday.” Aaron groused.

“So go on then, tell me why you stayed up so late last night even though you knew what time we were leaving.”

Aaron sighed and leaned his head against the window in defeat. “It’s Liv, innit?”

“What’s she done now?”

“It’s her and Gabby- they’ve fallen out _again_. I still couldn’t tell you over what, she’s right cagey, that one.”

“Ah,” Robert hummed in understanding, “Teenagers.”

“She’s not even a teenager yet,” Aaron moaned. “What’s gonna happen when she is?”

“I imagine she’ll cause a lot more trouble.”

“It’s not funny.”

“Yeah it is.”

“To _you._ I’m the one who has to deal with it all the time.”

“And you’re doing a great job,” Robert assured him, taking Aaron’s hand and rubbing his knuckles comfortingly. “She’s a kid and she’s doing what kids do best- cause grief.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Aaron conceded. He closed his eyes and let the gentle rocking of the car lull him to sleep.

_Aaron looks younger when he’s asleep_ Robert thought sadly. Occasionally Aaron will allude to his past, always vague insinuations and always the implication that it was too terrible to mention. He knew that these shadowy memories are why Liv stays with him but nothing more. He never pressed, he knew Aaron would tell him in his own time.

The rest of the drive passed mostly in silence, Aaron asleep for most of the journey. Robert woke Aaron as they entered the city at about half past twelve and pointed out various landmarks from his time there, “Best Chinese takeaway in London”, “my favorite art museum”, “ate lunch in that park every day”.

He parked the car in front of a nondescript building in the south of the city. He pocketed the keys and jerked his head towards the entrance. “My friend Lewis lives here, he let me keep my stuff at his place,” He paused before opening the door, “Just a warning- he’s a little… loud.”

When they got to the door a short man with red hair and a goofy smile opened it for them. “Robert!” He cheered, pulling him in for a hug.

Robert let himself be embraced for a minute before tugging out of his grasp and pointing to Aaron. “Lewis, this is my boyfriend Aaron.”

“Boyfriend?” Lewis asked, eyebrows waggling. His American accent was thick and brash, a perfect extension of his personality. “Our own Casanova all settled down.”

Neither men found the joke to be particularly funny but Lewis either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He led them through the building to the back, where there was a storage space with individual units for each flat. They counted down to 24C and opened the hatch to find a small room filled with boxes and loose canvas. “Give me a call when you’re all done so I can lock up.” Lewis rattled, leaving the two men to fend for themselves.

Aaron watched him go with a small scowl. “He’s a bit irritating.”

“Tell me about it,” Robert agreed, “But he’s a solid guy, really. Let me keep my stuff here for free so I can’t complain,” He started in on the boxes, opening each one and peering inside. “This is mostly kitchen stuff, not that I need those.” He rifled through his belongings until he found a pen, marking boxes as “keep” or “donate” as he moved along. He started piling them against the wall for carrying out.

Aaron began the long process of carting them to the car and returning for more. The ordeal lasted just over an hour, and soon the only possessions left were assorted unpacked items and a single nondescript black folder resting against the back wall. When Aaron returned from his latest trip to the car he found Robert kneeling on the floor, folder in hand.

“What you doing, lazy bones? We’re almost done loading the boot.”

Robert didn’t move, giving no indication he heard Aaron at all.

“Robert?” He asked again, quieter this time. He moved closer, resting his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder to get his attention.

Robert jolted violently out of his concentration, nearly dropping the papers. “What?”

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go.” He grabbed the folder and his phone, calling Lewis to tell him they were finished.

Lewis gave a boisterous goodbye, clapping Aaron on the back and pulling Robert in for another long hug. Robert spoke very little during their farewells. Lewis, with his usual obliviousness, paid no notice to his friend’s silence, filling the space with mindless chatter. When they pulled away from the curb of the building Lewis was waving wildly, a silly smile still slapped across his face.

Robert was quiet all the way to the donation center, only speaking when he dropped the boxes off. Robert could feel Aaron’s eyes on him as he got back in the car and took a sharp breath through his teeth.

“I’m fine, Aaron.”

“Are you sure?” Aaron’s voice was soft, worried.

“Yeah,” Robert assured, pulling onto the main road with ease. “I just saw some of my early work, got me thinking.”

“About what?”

Robert didn’t immediately respond, waiting until he found a familiar park to pull into and turn off the engine. “Fancy a walk around?”

Aaron just nodded and followed Robert down the worn path of the park. They linked hands under the cover of the trees and walked in silence.

“You know my dad and I had a bit of strained relationship,” Robert started, his voice low. “When I left I felt like I’d been abandoned or something, I-I didn’t like to think of home very much. But when Andy called to tell me he’d died, I couldn’t-couldn’t put it all aside anymore, I _had_ to think about my dad again, and it was hard,” Aaron squeezed his fingers comfortingly. “I channeled all that feeling, all that anger and sadness into some paintings and I found them again today. They took me to a dark place I didn’t really want to revisit. I’m sorry if I’ve been off since.”

Aaron didn’t say anything, but the way his arms wrapped around Robert conveyed just enough. _It’s okay,_ it said, _I understand._

They stood hugging under the canopy of trees for a long while. Robert buried his face into Aaron’s neck while Aaron rested his chin in Robert’s shoulder. Robert shook with everything he wanted to say to Aaron but he tamped it down for another time, another day. He allowed himself to relish the moment, the gratitude he had for the younger man before him.

\---

Robert loved the lively, bustling feel of the city. More than that he _missed_ it. The peaceful domesticity of Emmerdale couldn’t erase the thrilling feeling of living in a city that felt alive. The solid presence of Aaron beside him reminded Robert why he left in the first place and he couldn’t find in it himself to regret leaving, but he knew he would have to visit again.

He carted Aaron around town to visit his old haunts and hangouts. He even pointed out the old building where his former employer the Whites were located, though a near run-in with the old man Lawrence himself had Robert scarpering, a laughing Aaron close behind.

But he also brought Aaron to places with happier memories associated, like the gallery where he got his start. His former boss Peter was a lovely old man with shock white hair and a strong handshake. He was a mentor to Robert and it made him was absurdly happy that Peter got to meet Aaron, however briefly.

“He seems great.” Aaron commented as they left the gallery that evening.

“He is great,” Robert agreed, “He really helped when I came out.”

“Oh yeah?”

“He’s gay, married, happy. I think seeing someone could be like me _and_ be happy was invaluable.”

“I’m glad you had someone.” Aaron said sincerely, placing a comforting hand on Robert’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Robert concurred. “Me too.”

 

The restaurant Robert chose to eat that night was a posh place, with small plates and multiple forks. It wasn’t first class dining but it was certainly nicer than anything Hotten or Emmerdale had to offer.

Aaron simultaneously looked stressed and like he was going to strangle Robert with his cloth napkin.

“Robert I am _not_ dressed for a place like this.” He hissed.

Robert scoffed lightly. “Oh please Aaron, you’re not dressed any worse than anybody else here. They’re all tourists anyway.”

Aaron visibly relaxed as he looked around and saw that Robert was right. The wait staff was quick and efficient, taking their orders and bringing them their food in record time.

It went against all city-dweller sensibilities to eat in a tourist trap eatery, but as it happened Robert liked the food. It helped that the prices weren’t exorbitant either, despite the pretentious look of the venue.

 “It’s almost a shame we’re not spending the night,” Robert grinned as he leaned towards Aaron. “I’d love to ravish you in a hotel.”

Aaron blushed a deep red but rolled his eyes. “You’re so full of it, really.”

“Maybe,” Robert smile grew impossibly wider. “I hear it’s one of my best traits.”

“How do you manage to keep that big head on your shoulders?”

“Years of practice.”

Aaron laughed at that, beaming with his eyes scrunched up and emitting a heart-warming sound of joy. Robert could listen to him laugh all day.

 

The boys bade farewell to London at nine, far later than they planned. Robert downed a large coffee and turned the radio up to keep awake. He was grateful Aaron was there to ensure he focused on the road, filling the space with ludicrous questions like “what’s your favorite zoo animal” or “if you could be any color…”. Aaron also told Robert about his favorite video games and how he and Adam met and what his favorite food was. He told Robert a thousand little things that he hadn’t even thought to ask, a small, thoughtful gesture of unspoken commitment. Robert offered very little to the conversation, content to let the usually restrained Aaron say as much as he desired.

The arrived in Emmerdale in the early hours of the morning. Robert opted to spend the night with Aaron rather than risk waking Vic or Adam by returning to Keepers. The two men fell asleep instantly, teeth unbrushed and still dressed in their day clothes.

When Robert woke the next morning Aaron was nowhere to be found. He checked his watch and groaned when he realized it was already eleven. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and blearily searched for his shoes, shoving them on hastily and clambering down the stairs.

He nearly ran into Aaron at the base of the steps. “Oh!” He exclaimed, “I was going to bring this up to you.” In his hands was a plate with a couple slices of pre-buttered toast.

“Thank you.” Robert breathed, grabbing the plate and inhaling the toast with large bites.

Aaron just shook his head and took the empty plate back from Robert, letting him leave a sloppy, buttery kiss on his cheek.

“I _need_ a shower, I’m rank.” Robert rasped, turning Aaron so he could reach the door knob.

“Tell me about it,” Aaron smiled playfully, “Call me later?”

Robert nodded and kissed Aaron briefly before jogging out the door. He turned on Andy’s car and parked in front of the cottage, pulling the boxes out and carting them to his room. He postponed unpacking and allowed himself a long shower, washing the London grime and long drive off.

He returned Andy’s car later that day. He ran into Katie in front of the farmhouse, a tense exchange that ended when Andy emerged. He had placed an encouraging arm around his fiancée and smiled happily at Robert when he thanked his brother for his loan of the car.

“No problem!” Andy boomed. “Did you get all your things, then?”

Robert nodded contentedly. “Yep. Looks like I’ll be staying a long while yet.”

“Good,” Andy said, tightening his arm around Katie. “We could always do with more family here.”

To Robert’s surprise Katie smiled up at his brother, an expression he hadn’t seen on her since he had returned. Robert said his goodbye’s then and took his leave. The long walk back passed in no time at all and when he returned the peaceful village had started its Sunday routine.

Vic and Adam were sat on the sofa when Robert returned to the cottage, a cuppa in hand and awaiting news of his day-trip to London. Robert sat on the settee next to them, eagerly accepting their offer of tea.

“I saw the boxes in your room,” Vic started, “Looks like you really are staying, then!”

“What can I say?” Robert smiled lightly. “There’s no place like home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a filler/set up chapter


	9. Chapter 9

Despite the town’s penchant for disastrous weddings, Andy and Katie’s went off without a hitch. The bride was lovely, the groom was happy, and best of all- according to Robert- Aaron wore a suit. He gawped when Aaron arrived at the church, earning him a swift jab in the ribs from Vic for not paying attention. It was an altogether good day for all involved. The wedding was beautiful, the reception lively, and Robert took the earliest opportunity he could find to drag Aaron upstairs by the lapels.

Life was looking up for Robert Sugden. The month following Andy’s wedding was one of the best of Robert’s life. He was getting along with all his family, he sold his painting of Emmerdale to Bob at the café, and, best of all, he got to spend almost every day with his gorgeous boyfriend.

He had a ways to go still with Aaron’s family, something that was starting to wear on him. He couldn’t understand why Chas was still bitter even though he and Katie had reached an impasse.

“I don’t know, Aaron,” Robert said one morning as they stood in line for coffee, “It seems so petty, so bitter. Katie and I are fine now and she s _till_ hates me.”

Aaron had sighed and plunked his money on the counter. “It’s complicated. She’s had some bad experiences with blokes, I think it’s just hard for her to let go or summat.”

“Well I’m not those blokes.” He said testily. Aaron had just laughed and patted him on the back.

He had better luck with Liv, thanks to Aaron’s tireless efforts to make them get along. Robert found that Vic had been right about Liv being sweet underneath the gobby exterior. She was smarter than he realized, and funnier too. They wound each other up, much to the annoyance of Aaron, but it had morphed into something more lighthearted over time.

Robert had fallen in love with Aaron, something he realized mere weeks after their first meeting. Aaron had come to meet Robert for lunch and found him painting in the garden, donning an oversized, paint covered button-up.

“Looking sexy.” Aaron remarked sarcastically.

Robert paused his activity, glancing down at himself. “What, paint splatters don’t do it for you? I think I cut quite a figure in my smock,” He twisted teasingly, showing off all sides of his messy shirt. He leaned in for a kiss and set his brushes down. “Just let me pack up and I’ll meet you at the caf.”

“No,” Aaron began, “I can see you’re right in the middle, so why don’t I just make us some quick sandwiches and we can eat here?”

He didn’t give Robert a chance to answer, just let himself into the cottage and began making the food. It was such a quiet gesture of kindness and so very _Aaron_. Robert was floored by him. That afternoon started a weekly tradition, Aaron arriving at Keeper’s with lunch in tow a couple times a week and eating while Robert worked in between bites.

One such afternoon they were settled in as usual, eating and painting in companionable silence, when Robert let out a mumbled “shit.”

“What?” Aaron asked, mid-chew of his chips.

Robert was peering at the grass, searching for his missing scraper. “Nothing, I just think I forgot something upstairs. I’ll be right back.”

“No, I’ll get it,” Aaron said quickly. “You’ll track paint in the house if you go in like that.”

“Thanks! It’s my scraper- just a little metal tool. Should be right next to the bed on the nightstand.”

Aaron nodded and grabbed another chip before heading inside. Robert continued painting, tuning everything out and focusing on the work in front of him. It was considerably later that Robert even remembered that Aaron had yet to return. He shed his smock and paint-covered shoes at the door and climbed the stairs.

“Aaron?” He called, slowly pushing his bedroom door open. Aaron was kneeling by the bed, his back to Robert and staring at his lap. “What are you doing?”

Aaron jumped a little and Robert saw a flash of black disappear behind his back as he twisted to face him. “Sorry, I was just…” Aaron trailed off, mouth opening and closing like a fish. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so suspicious. Aaron’s shoulders drooped a little as he struggled to find words. “I didn’t mean to go through your stuff, I swear. I was looking for the scraper and this was just… there.” He produced a large black folder from behind his back, a guilty look stamped on his features.

Robert recognized it, of course he did. It was the same one he had recently recovered from storage in London, the one filled with paintings he had completed after his dad died. He wanted to be angry with Aaron for snooping, to yell and curse, but he didn’t. Instead he took the folder from his outstretched hand and sat on the bed.

“You saw them?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Aaron murmured. “Sorry.” He added.

Robert swallowed thickly. “It’s okay. I would’ve shown them to you… eventually.”

They lapsed into silence as Robert traced shapes onto the cover. He felt the familiar prickle of tears behind his eyes but he fought them back, dragging his fingers along the rough edges of the folder in his hands. Aaron was a solid warmth at his side, a quiet presence that comforted Robert.

Finally, without any preamble, he began to speak.

“My dad was a good person, you know. He was. He made mistakes, who doesn’t? But he _was_ a good bloke,” He took a deep, steadying breath. “I wanted to make him proud, I wanted him to like me more than he liked Andy- I was so jealous of Andy back then. It felt like my dad always took his side, no matter what. I was always the disappointment, I was never the son he wanted me to be…” Robert paused when Aaron placed his hand on top of his and gently squeezed.

“Were you worried about what your dad would think? About you being…”

“Bi?” Robert supplied. “I already knew.”

“Oh.” Aaron whispered.

“When I was fifteen we hired some help on the farm, this-this lad.”

“And you liked him?”

Robert nodded. “One day we were up in my room and my dad- he caught us. He sacked the lad, leathered me, and then we never talked about it again.”

“Robert, I’m so sorry.”

Robert’s heart beat loudly and painfully in his chest but he plowed through. “I didn’t want to be myself. I just kept, I don’t know, lashing out. Doing stupid things. I just wanted my dad’s approval and all I did was make it worse,” He lapsed into silence again, opening the folder with a loud sigh. He pulled out the first picture with tentative fingers. “He really wasn’t a bad bloke. He just… didn’t want a son like me.”

The painting wasn’t art by any degree. It was just a piece of canvas with dark paints swirled around in a thoughtless, grotesque mockery of Pollock or Kandinsky. Robert set it aside. The next picture he removed was of Robert’s empty childhood bedroom, an illustration of melancholy, and, in Robert’s opinion, a little heavy-handed. He slotted it back in the folder with little thought. He gingerly removed a small charcoal drawing he had done one afternoon on the Tube. It was Robert as a child, holding his father’s hand and walking the length of the farm. It was the only picture he had done without a trace of animosity, just sadness.

The most chilling picture was the simplest. It was just a portrait of Jack’s face, a stoic picture of anger and defeat. Robert handed it to Aaron with shaky hands.

“That’s the last time I ever saw him, when he told me to go.”

Aaron stared at the picture. “I thought you don’t paint people?”

“I don’t.” Robert’s voice was hard and unwavering. He plucked the picture from Aaron’s hands and carefully placed it back into the folder. He closed it and shoved in under the bed carelessly.

Robert leaned forward, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. “I never thought that would be the end of it, you know? I wanted to be the son he wanted me to be.”

“Do you wish you had gotten to talk to your dad again?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Robert closed his eyes. “I think I just assumed that we would meet again, I guess I never really accepted that that day… that day would really be the end,” Tears welled up in his eyes as he blinked them back. “I just wanted him to be proud of me.”

Aaron wrapped his arm around Robert and pulled him tight against his side. “Well, I’m proud of you.”

There was no hesitation in his words, just honesty. Robert cried.

He knew that when it came to his father his judgement was clouded. Jealousy and anger tinged memories of his dad, and he lived with a terrible fear that Jack would never have approved of him. But with Aaron beside him, caring and considerate, he didn’t want to hide anymore. He didn’t want to live with the fear of his father anymore. He just wanted to be himself. And he just wanted to be himself with Aaron.

He let Aaron hold him for a long time, strong arms grounding him and a soothing voice in his ear telling him “it’s okay, it’s okay.” The tears subsided after a while and he let his racing heart slow before pulling away.

Aaron pushed his rumpled hair from his forehead with warm fingers. “Are you okay?” He asked gently.

His eyes were a soft shade of blue. So soft and compassionate that Robert couldn’t help himself, and he said the first thing that came to his mind.

“I love you.”

Aaron stilled, becoming a warm slab of marble next to Robert.

Robert scrambled to make it better. “You don’t have to say it back or anything, you’ve just been so great and I just wanted to tell you because I think I’ve known for a while and God, Aaron if you’re uncomfortable I’m so sorry-“

Aaron cut him off with a bruising kiss, crushing his lips to Robert’s. When he leaned away his eyes were unyielding in the way they penetrated Robert. He opened his mouth, but the determination in his eyes dimmed, and his mouth shut with an audible _snap._ Robert felt his heart drop, but he smiled anyway.

“Aaron, it’s okay.”

Aaron’s voice sounded strangled when he finally managed to speak. “I- I do- It’s just- I- I,” He stuttered and stammered until Robert kissed him again, a light brush of lips. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I do… you know, I- I can’t-“

“You don’t have to say anything.”

Robert dragged his thumb along Aaron’s stubble as he closed his eyes. He let out a breath that whispered along Robert’s palm and down his arm. When Aaron opened his eyes again they were the same soft shade of blue. “You know, right?”

“Yeah, Aaron,” Robert exhaled, “I know.”

Aaron pulled Robert in again in a crushing embrace. It kind of hurt that he didn’t say it back, but at that moment Robert couldn’t find it in him to care because the way Aaron’s arms tightened against his back and cheek pressed against his shoulder told Robert everything he needed to know.

 

Aaron went back to work after that, leaving Robert to finish painting downstairs, but he wasn’t really in the mood. Dredging up memories of his dad had taken its toll, and Robert couldn’t find it in him to finish the picture, instead packing up his tools and propping up the half-finished painting to dry by the door. He plopped himself down on the sofa and let the fatigue take over.

When he woke Adam had returned home from work and was making a brew in the kitchen.

“Morning, sunshine,” Adam teased when he saw Robert sit up groggily. “I take it Aaron was with you this afternoon? He came back to the scrapyard in a right state.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, he’s always a grumpy git. Reckon you got him all worked up though.”

“How do you mean?”

“I dunno, he was all moody,” Adam leaned through the little window in the kitchen and shrugged. “He’s always moody though, so what do I know?”

Robert rubbed his eyes tiredly. “No, I think that one’s on me.”

“How do you reckon?”

“I might’ve…told him that I love him.”

“You _what?_ ” Adam yelped, nearly dropping the mug he held in his hand. “What did he say?”

“Not much.” Robert said shortly, wishing he’d never said anything.

“Oh, mate,” Adam consoled, “I’m sure he-“

“It’s fine, Adam. It’s okay. I think it just kind of… caught us both off guard,” Adam still had that sad look in his eye so Robert stood hastily and jabbed a finger in his brother-in-law’s direction. “Not a _word_ of this to Vic, alright? She’d go off on one.”

Adam mimed locking his mouth with a key and grinned. Robert rolled his eyes and grabbed his jacket. “I’m getting a pint,” He eyed Adam again. “Not. One. Word.”

The pub was busy when he walked in, busy enough that there were no tables open. He sighed and took a seat at the bar.

“Pint please Chas.”

To his surprise she complied without a word, or even a dirty look. He accepted the tentative respite silently and drank his pint without speaking.  

“Hiya,” Aaron stood behind Robert, a tight smile on his face. “Can I sit?”

Robert groaned in exasperation. “Oh god, is it going to be weird between us now?”

“I think so,” Aaron laughed, his smile widening. “That’s just the way it works.”

Robert huffed, irritated. “Looks like I just can’t catch a break,” He dared another glance at Aaron, who looked relaxed. Just then Chas came over and placed a pint in front of Aaron, again saying nothing. Something clicked and he turned back to Aaron with wide, accusing eyes. “You _told_ her, didn’t you?”

Aaron had the decency to look sheepish. “Maybe.”

“I cannot be any more embarrassed today, can I?”

“Probably not,” Aaron agreed, “Look, I didn’t mean to embarrass ya, I just wanted to sort my head out.”

Robert gulped down the remaining dregs of his pint. “It’s fine, I get it. I guess that’s on me for falling for you in the first place.”

Aaron’s voice was soft. “So you regret it, then?”

“No,” Robert said sincerely, looking at Aaron somberly. “I don’t regret anything.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to.” He leaned in for a chaste kiss, but let it linger perhaps a moment too long.

The tension between them abated, the air became a little easier to breathe, and Robert allowed himself the pleasure of his boyfriend’s company without stressing about _words_. Everything was almost as before, minus the newfound problem of Robert biting back the urge to say “I love you” again.

 _Idiot_.

In the late evening he yawned and stood, gesturing to the door. “I think I better get going.” He stated.

“I’ll walk back with you.” Aaron said, standing with Robert and following him to the door.

He was quiet on the short walk to Keeper’s, something Robert noticed but did not comment on.

When they arrived Robert kissed Aaron swiftly and placed his hand on the handle, about to turn it when he heard Aaron’s voice behind him.

“Robert,” Aaron said quietly. He turned to face his boyfriend, startled to see tear tracks in the dim light. “Robert, I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.” He pacified, rushing towards Aaron and taking his clammy hands in his own.

“You-you were honest with me and I want to be honest with you.”

“What is it, Aaron?”

“It’s about my dad. And Liv, kind of,” He wrung his hands worriedly in Robert’s grip. “She came to live with me because my dad went to prison.”

Robert nodded, slow and unsure. “Okay.”

Aaron extracted his hands from Robert’s and faced away, his silhouette framed by the faint light of the moon.

“He went to prison for raping me.”


	10. Chapter 10

Robert felt sick to his stomach. He stood quietly leaning against the garden wall while Aaron spoke, staring at the concrete at his feet. Aaron’s voice wavered and broke as he told his story, making the knot in Robert’s stomach tighten and churn.

When Aaron finished the air was thick with all the words that had just been spoken, and those yet to be said.

“Robert?” Aaron asked, his voice small.

Robert desperately wanted to say something, _anything,_ but he had no words. When he finally glanced up at Aaron he looked ten years younger, his usually gelled hair un-styled and curly from nervously running his hands through it.

“Aaron, I’m so sorry.” The words felt weak and inadequate, but what could he say? Nothing could make it better, no matter how much he wanted it to.

When Aaron looked at him, eyes filled to the brim and utterly wretched, Robert realized that the only thing he _needed_ to do was reassure him that his feelings hadn’t changed. He tentatively approached Aaron with open arms, a silent question of consent. The younger man fell into him without hesitation.

He grasped Aaron with all the strength he could muster, rubbing his back comfortingly. “I’m so sorry. I kept banging on about my dad and-“

Aaron sniffled and shook his head into Robert’s neck. “No, don’t,” His voice was slightly muffled in the fabric. “Just because Gordon was… You had your problems too. And I’m glad you told me, because I feel like I know you better now.”

“I’m glad you told me too,” Robert froze. “Not because-“

“I know why, Robert,” Aaron muttered as he pulled away slightly. “I told you because I trust you and I wanted to be completely honest with you,” He self-consciously wiped the tears from his cheeks. “And… to give you the chance to run for the hills.”

“I would never.”

Aaron took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t blame ya if you did. I’m- I’m messed up. I don’t handle things well.”

Robert placed his hand on Aaron’s clothed chest. “Your scars?”

He nodded and squeezed his eyes shut. Robert made a sudden noise, a light airy sound that made Aaron’s eyes snap open.

“I think I get it now,” Robert said sagely. “Everyone’s so protective of you. Chas, Vic, Adam…”

Aaron frowned and jerked his head defiantly. “More like _overprotective_ ,” He growled. Then he sighed and nodded. “They all know. The trial…” He audibly gulped and looked away. “During the trial they were all there for me. It was really hard, but, you know, we made it. I know they’re only like that because they care.”

“I care too.”

Aaron bit his lip and nodded. “I know.”

Robert reached over and brushed his thumb over his bottom lip, preventing Aaron from breaking the skin. He hesitated for a breath. “And I love you,” Aaron was silent. “Is that okay? Is it okay if I say that?”

“Yeah,” Aaron appeased quickly, “Yeah, I like hearing it.”

Robert leaned forward to kiss Aaron’s forehead. “Good.”

Aaron tilted into his embrace and laughed quietly. “Who knew you’d be so soppy?”

“A hazard of being an artist, I’d guess,” Robert jerked a thumb at the door behind him. “Do you want to stay with me tonight?” At Aaron’s reluctant expression he backtracked. “Not… to do anything. Just stay with me?”

He thought for a moment, lips pressed together. “Yeah,” Aaron whispered, “okay.”

“Okay.”

Robert loosely gripped Aaron’s hand as they entered the cottage, both tiptoeing past the sofa before Vic noticed their arrival. They crept into Robert’s bedroom and shut the door with a soft _click._ They stared at each other for several long moments before they stripped off their shoes, trousers, and jackets and climbed under the covers. Aaron allowed Robert to pull him close, pressing one light kiss to his hair before allowing sleep to take over.

 

The morning came too soon, as it always does.

Aaron woke to find Robert nestled into his side and lightly snoring. He gently nudged him awake. “I’ve got to get to work.”

“No, stay.” Robert mumbled in to Aaron’s neck, arms tightening around him.

“Adam will kick off if I skive off again,” Aaron laughed, half-heartedly attempting to loosen Robert’s grip. “I really have to go.”

“Ten more minutes?” Robert pleaded. Aaron stopped his weak efforts to move and sighed.

“Alright, ten minutes.”

Ten minutes came and went, the men making no effort to shift at all. Instead they dozed off in between feather light kisses.

When they woke again Robert propped himself on his side, resting his elbow on the bed and his head on his fist. He admired Aaron in the late morning sunshine, earning a disgruntled expression from his boyfriend.

“What?” Aaron asked, leaning back on his pillow and blinking up at Robert.

Robert drank in the picture of ease before him and smiled. “Can I paint you?”

“Paint _me_? Why?” Aaron queried, surprise colouring his tone.

“Because you’re beautiful. And because I love you.” Robert ran his fingers down Aaron’s nose, light as a feather.

“Soft.”

“So, is that a yes?”

Aaron’s brow furrowed in suspicion. “Are you trying to get me naked, is that it? You want me to pose like that French girl in _Titanic_?”

 “I’m always trying to get you naked,” Robert laughed, placing his hand on Aaron’s hip and stroking the exposed skin gently. “And Kate Winslet isn’t French, she wanted to be painted like a _French girl.”_

“Robert!” Aaron rebuked, exasperated.

“No, Aaron,” Robert answered, “As much as I’d _love_ to paint you nude I don’t think that’s really your style.”

“Then…” Aaron trailed off, waving his hand as if he were trying to draw an explanation from Robert.

“It just feels right, like you’re my muse,” Aaron still didn’t look convinced, despite Robert using his most charming smile. “Look, I promise I won’t make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with, alright?”

There was a pause before, “…Fine.”

“Really?” Robert beamed, “Let’s start right away.” He peppered energetic kisses on Aaron’s face and down his neck.

“Gerroff,” Aaron chuckled, “We can’t start now! I’ve got to go to the scrapyard. Adam will be furious as is!”

“Boo.” Robert groused, leaving one last lingering kiss to Aaron’s jaw before letting him leave. He watched the younger man pull on his trousers and boots with a grin, eyeing him appreciatively as he walked out.

His room felt emptier and colder without Aaron. Robert burrowed under the covers, soaking in the last of Aaron’s warmth from the sheets beneath him.

 

When Robert finally dragged himself out of bed he found his sister at the bottom of the stairs, an offended look on her face like she had been waiting all morning for him to make his descent.

_Knowing her, she probably had_ Robert thought wryly.

“Morning, Vic.” He greeted as he slid past her and into the kitchen. He found Adam in there, making himself a sandwich.

“Finally got out of bed, did you?” He teased, “I had to cover for Aaron _again_ this morning, so I decided to take an extra long lunch today.”

“Sorry.” Robert mumbled nonchalantly.

Vic stood in the entrance, her face even more displeased. “Robert!” She exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me that you told Aaron you loved him?”

Robert turned on to face his brother-in-law furiously. “ _Adam!_ ”

“What?” he defended. “Vic got it out of me!”

“ _How_?” Robert barked, “Waterboarding? Please, Adam. You’re weak and that’s the last time I tell you anything-“

Vic interrupted him exasperatedly. “Robert, come on! How come you didn’t tell me first anyway?”

Robert pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Because I thought you’d make a big deal out of it! I was right, _by the way_.”

“It _is_ a big deal!” Vic tilted her head and smiled widely. “I knew it. I knew you loved him.”

Robert rolled his eyes. “Oh, please.”

“I did!” She defended, folding her arms across her chest.

“Okay, if you did then why are you making a fuss now if you knew it all along?”

“Because you _said_ it! And that’s important. I don’t want to cause offense but honestly you never seemed the kind of person who says ‘I love you’ a lot and _means_ it.”

“I take offense to that,” Robert sniffed, “It’s true, but I take offense to it.”

Adam and Victoria looked at each other with a knowing grin.

Robert tutted and opened the fridge. “You are both menaces and I’m never telling you anything,” They both laughed lightly and turned to leave when Robert said “Except…”

“Hmm?” Vic asked, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“I actually want you guys to know that he told me about his- about Gordon.”

“He _what_?” Adam blurted.

Robert nodded solemnly. “He told me last night.”

There was a long pause.

“Oh,” Vic said finally, “Then he must love you too.” She said it with such sincerity that Robert actually stumbled in surprise. “I know he didn’t say he loved you back or anything, but… He never was one for words anyway. But he wouldn’t have told you about Gordon otherwise, I think. Right, babe?”

She glanced at Adam who wrapped his arm around her. “Yeah, I think so too.”

Robert didn’t say anything as they filed out of the room, but he felt a heat travel from his chest to his cheeks. He knew how Aaron felt, but it was nice to hear all the same.

He pulled out his sketchbook and stretched out on the sofa. He had a rough idea of how he wanted Aaron’s portrait to go but it wasn’t translating from pen to paper. He threw the notebook to the side with a growl and threw his arms over his eyes.

Aaron was beautiful and mysterious in an impossible way. Robert knew there was no way he could ever transfer that onto canvas, his once brilliant idea turning into a disaster the more he thought about it. But he pictured Aaron again, his lovely, lonely boyfriend, whom he loved, and he felt the fear dissipate and be replaced with a desire to try, results be damned.

_Alright,_ He thought, picking up the pad from the floor, _Let’s try again._


	11. Chapter 11

Robert called Aaron around on a Wednesday evening to start painting. He showed up with his sister around his ankles and a sour expression on his face.

“She wouldn’t leave me alone.” He explained, rolling his eyes.

“He says you’re gonna paint him.” Liv laughed, a mischievous grin lighting up her face.

Robert fixed Liv with a glare. “Not with you around I’m not,” He said impetuously. “Scram.”

“Spoilsport.”

Robert sighed long-sufferingly. “Tell you what, Liv. If you leave us to it, I’ll get takeout from that Italian place you love in Hotten tomorrow.” He compromised.

“Really?” Liv cheered. “How about a pint too?”

Robert shooed her towards the door as he gestured for Aaron to sit. “Don’t push your luck.”

Liv stuck out her tongue and skipped out the door. “You really shouldn’t be bribing her.” Aaron groused as he perched on the edge of the sofa.

“How else would you do it?” Robert asked as he pulled out his sketchbook.

Aaron considered for a moment before shrugging. “I guess you’re right,” He watched Robert open his pad with interest, following the pen as it traveled around the page. “What are you doing?”

Robert didn’t answer for a moment, focus solely on the task before him. When his pen finally stilled on the page he glanced up. “I’m just trying to figure out how I want you for this. Inside, outside, smiling, stoic, you know…” He glanced back down at the paper.

It was silent for another minute as Robert continued working. Aaron shifted awkwardly in his seat, a detail that didn’t go unnoticed by Robert.

“Okay,” Robert announced triumphantly. “Inside it is.”

“Where?” Aaron asked.

“Here is fine, we’ll just have to control the lighting. Or maybe we could get a lamp…” Robert’s voice was muffled as he searched through his bag, his words lost as he ducked down. He reemerged with a pencil and loose canvas, which he swiftly clipped to his easel. “Alright,” He began, “I’m just going to start sketching you, just for the outline. I need you to find a position you’re comfortable with because you’ll be there for a while.”

Aaron looked like he was about to protest but he scrunched up his face did as he was told. He shuffled around a bit before he settled in a position leaning forward, with his arms on his knees. He looked casual, and very _himself_.

Robert set about doing his task in silence, noting every awkward shift and sniffle coming from Aaron. He racked his brain thinking of some way to make Aaron more comfortable.

 “So,” Robert began, slowing his rapid pace. “Tell me about Paddy.”

Aaron looked surprised. “Paddy?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve seen you with Paddy around here and everyone says he’s like your dad, but we’ve never really been introduced. Not properly anyway.”

Aaron looked pensive, gnawing on his bottom lip in thought. “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Ouch.” Robert said evenly, his lips pursing.

“No!” Aaron said quickly, “I mean, I would’ve done it eventually when-“ He cut himself off and blushed. “If-if things got more serious,” he stammered. He took a deep, shaky breath. “I wouldn’t- wouldn’t make any major life decisions without Paddy knowing, is what I’m saying.”

“Am I not a major life decision?” Robert asked softly, his pencil slowing to a stop on the canvas.

“No, you are,” Aaron murmured, his voice gentle. “But Paddy’s got his own family now, his life is- is a bit separate from mine right now. I guess I’ve not got the chance to have a proper catch up yet. But you will meet, I promise.”

Robert didn’t respond, focusing back onto the picture in front of him. After a stretch of silence he could sense the antsy behavior resurging in Aaron.

“When did you and Paddy get close?” He asked, watching Aaron settle in his chair.

“Around when I first moved here. He was dating my mum and we moved into his.”

“Can’t really see them as a couple.”

“Neither could my mum, I guess.” Aaron responded, a twinge of bitterness darkening his tone. “She left him, eventually. Shacked up with a really terrible bloke. I stayed with Paddy, he was good to me. He was there for me when no one else was.”

Robert let the words settle around them before responding. “When you came out?”

Aaron shifted in his seat. “Yeah.”

“I’m glad.” Robert said sincerely.

After a few more moments Robert asked. “Tell me about when you first moved here. Did you like it?”

Aaron barked out a laugh. “Did I like it? No, no definitely not. I didn’t want to be here. My mum dragged me here because my dad…” He trailed off, all laughter gone. Robert expected him to leave it there but to his surprise Aaron cleared his throat and carried on. “Well, my dad kicked me out. Best thing he ever did, really. Then my mum made me come here and I didn’t get on at all. We lived with Zak and Lisa, and she _hated_ me!”

“Lisa?” Robert asked incredulously. The Dingles all loved Aaron now, that was clear as day, so Robert couldn’t imagine a world where the mother-figure for the clan didn’t always feel that way.

“Yeah,” Aaron smiled, “I was a menace then. I did lots of stupid things, I was angry and hurt and I lashed out,” His smile dimmed for just a moment before brightening up again. “I got myself together after a while. Kind of. When I… came out I chilled out a bit. I wasn’t so angry. But then I had Jackson.”

Robert stiffened infinitesimally behind his easel, letting his hands work while his brain momentarily disconnected. Aaron didn’t talk about Jackson, Robert relying on his only tidbits from the gossiping villagers. He wondered if he should respond, maybe ask about him, but Aaron spoke before he could manage to form words.

“Jackson was my first boyfriend,” He mumbled in a rush, “I was really scared and I even hit him once- I was terrified of being outed. But,” He sighed quietly, “I came out in the end. And I loved Jackson, I really did.” Aaron didn’t say anything for a minute, the only sounds in the room Robert’s pencil on the canvas.

When Robert finished his sketch he pulled out his brushes and paints and set to work without preamble. Aaron watched him with careful eyes, hands clasped together in front of him.

“What are you doing now?” He asked.

Robert swirled the paint on the palette in front of him. “I’m painting your eyes,” He smiled at Aaron from behind his easel. “They’re very beautiful,” The tips of Aaron’s ears turned pink but he looked pleased. Robert ducked behind his canvas and dragged the brush carefully along his tentative outline. After a minute he asked, “What happened with Jackson?”

The silence in response to his query was so strained that Robert felt his limbs tense unconsciously. Before he could apologize or change the subject, Aaron spoke. He started so suddenly that Robert’s hand jerked and nearly ruined the left eye.

“He died,” A moment’s pause. “I killed him.”

Robert let his hand drop onto his lap, unaware of the paint that splattered onto the tarp beneath him. “You _what_?” He pushed his easel to the side so he could get a better glance at his boyfriend, who was now leaning so far forward his face was nearly on his knees.

“He was in an accident and-and he was paralyzed, and he couldn’t- he didn’t want to-to-to…” It was with surprise that Robert realized Aaron was crying. His voice became thick and shaky. “He didn’t want to live anymore. He asked me to and- and I just gave him the drink-“ At Aaron’s rambling Robert moved to sit beside him and pulled him, letting him cry into the front of his shirt.

By the time Aaron pulled away the sun had set and the evening shadows had crept in through the windows. He jerked his hand messily across his face and wiped the tears away.

“Sorry.” He uttered.

Robert rubbed his back soothingly, “You don’t have to apologize.”

“A couple weeks ago was the anniversary of…” He trailed off, letting Robert fill in the blanks. “Sometimes I feel like I’m forgetting him. I can’t remember all those little things anymore and right before he-he asked me not to forget him.”

“You’re not forgetting him,” Robert pressed, “Forgetting the details, it happens. But you’ll never forget him, or the way he made you feel, or what he meant to you. I promise.”

Aaron looked up at him with watery eyes and a downturned mouth. “How do you _know_?”

Robert removed his hand from Aaron’s back slowly. “My mum died when I was just a teenager,” He rounded on Aaron with a harsh expression. “Do you think I could forget her?”

“No, of course not! But-“

“But nothing, Aaron. You _can’t_ forget people that are important to you, no matter what,” His eyes softened when he looked at Aaron’s stunned expression. “Forgetting the little things- it hurts. But it doesn’t mean that person mattered any less to you, or that one day you won’t remember them. It just means that time has passed,” He gripped Aaron’s hands loosely in his own. “I’m sure Jackson would understand.”

Aaron said nothing, he just pressed his forehead to Robert’s shoulder and took several deep breaths. After a few quiet minutes he leaned away.

“Did you want to get back to painting?” He whispered.

Robert laughed softly and gently swept his thumb across Aaron’s cheek. “No, I think we’ll call it a day.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Aaron let Robert take him home after that, pausing by the door to plant a soft kiss on his lips before turning away. Robert wasn’t quite ready for bed when he returned and opted to work on the less important details of the portrait, like Aaron’s clothes.

He sat up until the early morning, only stopping to sleep when the first rays of light seeped through the drawn curtains onto the floor.

 

After that day the two young men fell into a pattern. Aaron would come over after dinner for his portrait sitting, and Robert would ask him questions. After his meltdown over Jackson he became more uninhibited. He usually didn’t say much at all, but here he sat on Vic’s sofa telling Robert about the Emmerdale of his youth.

Robert _loved_ to hear him talk. The more he spoke the more Robert fell in love with him, and the more the painting came to be. What could have been a simple portrait became so much more for him. This painting was Robert’s way of expressing how he felt in the best way he knew.

“What are you going to do with this?” Aaron asked one day as he lounged on the sofa.

“Hmm?”

“The picture. What are you going to do with it?”

Robert frowned in thought, putting his brush aside. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll sell it,” He smiled at Aaron’s scrunched up face. “Maybe I’ll display it in a gallery.”

“Is that what you want? To have your art in a gallery?”

Robert picked his brush back up and shrugged noncommittally. “I don’t know, maybe. I like the idea of a lot of people seeing my work but…” His brush hovered over the canvas. “There’s also a lot of vulnerability there.”

“But you sell your work all the time,” Aaron pointed out. “People see your stuff constantly.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But I’ve always sold it, you know, one-on-one. It was like making a deal, which I’m good at,” He sighed, “I guess knowing that people would be there to see _my stuff_ , it’s, well, it’s a lot.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s what I want, though,” Robert said wistfully. “Someday.”

“Robert?” Aaron asked after a minute.

“Yeah?”

“I think you deserve to have your work seen.”

Robert beamed.

 

In the end it took Robert a month and a half to finish. He knew it was time well spent, because the painting was his best work- no contest. There were no garish colors and no hard lines, just soft strokes doused with the love and intimacy he shared with Aaron. In short, it was beautiful.

He didn’t tell anyone he had finished, he wasn’t ready yet. Instead he placed his easel at the foot of his bed and propped up his portrait for one final look.

 _This is it,_ Robert thought with a soft pride, _My magnum opus._

(He might have cried.)  
(He definitely did.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soz if this chapter isn't great- I'm very sleep deprived


End file.
